New Governator Storylines Spice Up Hackneyed Super Hero

As it turns out, I’m not the only person who thought they got punked by the recent announcement from Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Once the body builder, turned movie star, turned Kennedy in-law, turned Governor of California publicized his foray into – wait for it – cartoons, quips from around the blogosphere ranged from "April Fools," to "Robert Smigel promo," to "He’s got to be kidding."

I'm afraid not.

Sometime next year, Schwarzeneggar plans to launch his crime-fighting character "The Governator" in comic books, followed by an animated TV series, then a computer game, and finally a 3-D movie. Stan Lee is involved with development along with Andy and Amy Heyward of A Squared Entertainment. I know the concept sounds ridiculous, but "The Governator" isn’t messing around.

"I won’t be ba-ack," his muscled avatar quips from the foot of the state house. Drat. After this, I was expecting a run for the presidency.

The trailer plays like any other comic book crime fighter heeding a cry for help. Schwarzeneggar morphs into a formidable super hero fighting evil on a pimped-out motorcycle. He pulverizes robots as they try to rob an armored car, basically saving the day.



This whole tired crime fighting routine has been done so many times in so many incarnations, I fear for the Governator’s survival. During Schwarzeneggar’s transformation from ordinary to extraordinary, shades of Iron Man and Batman abound. Now that he is no longer Governor, his character is no different than those champions of truth and justice. Next thing you know, he’ll be fighting villains nicknamed "The Jester" and "The Puzzler."

The Governator should be a different kind of super hero, someone who fights evil unconventionally. Rather than duplicate what’s been done before, his creators should focus on the political angle. For instance:

• Fighting erupts on the House floor over proposed elimination of earmarks. The Governator steps in to make peace between partisans and reduce budget deficits.

• The President prepares to appoint more department czars without Congressional oversight or approval. The Governator invites him out for beers and during the night they get so sloshed, the President forgets why he needs more czars.

• Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi hatch an evil plot to raise taxes on just about everything Americans use and enjoy. The Governator clobbers them with an iron copy of the Constitution.

• The Governator combats illegal immigration, silent cell operations, energy cost increases, rising food prices, healthcare debacles, foreign policy blunders, government corruption, and general abuses of power.

Hey, I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little excited for 2012.


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Are they still counting the votes in California? The local rag sent out an early edition marking the star studded state undecided. Thankfully, it now makes updates via the Internet.

I wonder how technology resistant and financially challenged people get their news? Certainly not at the public library, at least not in the "City That (supposedly) Reads."

Still too close to call for the Democrats. Wow. For the first time I can remember (actually, for the first time since I started to care), a Maryland primary is going to matter. I wonder if the campaigns will send celebrities. The state is, after all, bright blue.

I for one would drop everything if George Clooney took a detour into town. Yes, Gorgeous George can count on my vote for Obama, but only if I get to take a cell phone picture with my arms wrapped around his well-tailored waist (must keep eyes peeled for hastily scheduled appearances on campaign trail). Too bad he left that U.N. thingee in Manhattan, although can't say I blame him. Clooney arrived directly from a technical assessment mission in Sudan only to be excluded from a meeting of power players. Luckily, he did manage to get a word in edgewise. Way to go, George! Hunky and tenacious. Is it any wonder he sets hearts aflutter?

Of course, the stars had no problem turning out in California and the Tri-State Area. There were so many, it's kinda difficult to keep tabs. Then again, a CNN camera crew had no problem at all.

Let's see, Jack, Laura Linny, and Spielberg, for She-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named. Scarlett, De Niro, and California First Lady for Obama. Just a sampling of the new endorsements rolling down the pike. It would take all day to flesh out every single one. Not that I am in any way influenced by these high profile preferences. No one should be. I'm just psyched by the possibility of catching me some glitterati.

On primary day, celebrities head for the polls just like other civic minded individuals. Along the way, entertainment correspondents vie for attention. Much like exit polls, voters need to digest these celebrity sound bites with a grain of salt. Like everyone else, celebrities pull the lever, punch the chad, or touch the screen in complete secrecy, free from extraneous control and the prying eyes of correspondents. Unless they're flashing their notoriety on the campaign trail, no one really knows which candidate they support.

And isn't that part of what makes America great?