nutty linzer cookies

Yesterday, a co-worker brought cookies to work but I couldn't have one because she had added butterscotch chips to the recipe and it wsn't vegan. Ironically, she had started with a vegan recipe and made it not vegan. This was perfectly fine - I'm not much of a sweet-eater or a snacker, and if I do snack, it's usually on something like nuts or pretzels. I especially don't find sweets appealing in the morning. (Currently, I'm most likely to snack on pistachios.) However, the cookies were very interesting looking in a healthy kind of way, and in spite of their healthy appearance, they were receiving very positive feedback from everyone who was sampling them. Healthy cookies that people like? This was a recipe worth tracking down. I got the recipe from Jen, and traced the original to this Web site where they're called, "energizing linzer cookies." My version (based on ingredients on hand and personal preference) is below. I made 21 cookies, some with raspberry jam and some with chocolate chips. The chocolate chips didn't melt as I expected them to, but they tasted good. The raspberry filled cookies were much prettier and I preferred them. The cookies are sweet, but the jam I used, organic sugar-free raspberry jam from Trader Joes, was actually a bit tart, providing an unexpected but pleasant contrast. Unfortunately, I ate too many.

Nutty linzer cookies
1 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup toasted, unsalted almonds
1/2 unsalted walnuts
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/4 cup ground flax seed
1/3 cup canola oil
1/2 cup agave syrup (or maple syrup)
2 teaspoons vanilla
raspberry jam
chocolate chips

Place oats, almonds and walnuts in a food processor and process until crumbly. Add flour and flax and pulse until mixed. Add oil, syrup and vanilla and pulse until mixed and dough forms.
Form into balls (wet hands help) and place on a lightly oiled baking sheet.
Press a depression into each cookie with your finger.
Place some jam or chocolate chips into each depression.
Bake at 350˚ for 14 minutes.

P.S. I was much too stingy with the jam and chocolate chips because I was afraid they would bubble up and ooze over the sides. Next time I make these - and there will definitly be a next time - I'm going to load up that jam and stuff in those chips. Jen says I should fill up the jam and put chocolate chips around the edge. Maybe I will.

Katie Holmes Catches Detour from Broadway Into Stepford Boot Camp

The May 11th issue of Star Magazine soon hits newsstands with an oddly familiar cover story. Egomaniac husband unable to accept wife's desire to live life on her own terms vainly attempts to temper wife's independent spirit with subtle acts of domination, causing them to grow apart, eventually leading husband to squelch his growing anxiety over reduction of power in their relationship through the orchestration of a diabolical solution.

Ah, yes. The Stepford Wives. The original, although a cinematically primitive made-for TV movie, much better than the remake. Rent it, if you haven't already.

Meanwhile, can anyone confirm this blind item?

Ashton Kutcher Dishes Dumb at "What Happens in Vegas" World Premiere

Ashton Kutcher must have been a daredevil dolt in his youth. Carmen Diaz, still dealing with the unexpected death of her dad, couldn't make the London world premiere of their light-hearted romp, What Happens in Vegas, leaving Kutcher to wing the red carpet alone.

Kind of feel sorry for the poor sap, spilling intimate personal details of his boneheaded antics under the influence. Guess he was absent from movie star school on the day they taught how to skirt embarrassing questions by scratching one's head and smiling amiably into the camera. Feast your eyes on this interview.

I can't be the only one who thinks Kutcher had a death wish at some point in his life. Mommy Demi should have been in tow for an emergency elbow nudging, although who knows whether that would have stopped him from spouting like a schoolgirl. Must be off spreading pregnancy rumors again. Oh, those two crazy kids.

Maybe we’re all being punk'd. Passed out on a frozen river and survived? Wonder if frostbite nipped Kutcher's unmentionables. Now that might explain a thing or two about those pregnancy rumors.

Judging from tepid fan reaction in the video, Lake Bell's scarlet pom-pom sleeved number made a poor substitute for Diaz. Does anyone else regard Bell as the poor man’s Amanda Peet? They both have that strong sexy nose thing going on, wide mouths, flashing eyes, but Peet seems infinitely more reserved.

Not reading between the lines on this one -- Kutcher and Peet had no chemistry whatsoever in their box office bomb, A Lot Like Love. Maybe Bell got the part in his Vegas film because he's drawn to dark sultry and was going for more wild with his nasty.

Although judging from the latest movie trailer, if Kutcher wants more wild, he should stick to drunken jumps from second story windows.

Disturbing "I Am Legend" Played Me Like A Violin

Hate gory sadistic horror films and not exactly a fan of futuristic sci-fi either, but something about I am Legend and the critical reviews grabbed my attention.

Love the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, mega huge fan of Baltimore-bred-and-educated wife, Jade Pinkett Smith (not the hair; sorry, hon), adore the blatant nepotic casting of young family members in this and his last flick (hey, if you've got it, flaunt it). Like other armchair critics (spoiler alert), I had no idea what to expect. Figured I would roll the dice and rent the DVD.

Yah, so now that it's over and I'm shaking like a leaf, I'll sum up in one word the voyeuristic experience of living only four years into the future stalked by humanoid carriers of a genetically engineered virus wreaking havoc on the few remaining strands of humankind, transforming the city of New York into a desolate hell hole, and punctuating almost every scene with an eerie fatalism of cure or be eaten: Disturbed.

Can't fault people (spoiler alert) for thinking this one is a masterpiece. This film has blockbuster (more spoiler) written all over it. Shooting locations unheard of in average run-of-the-mill fare. Recurrent themes of racism, beacons of light in the face of darkness, faith and ultimate redemption (bonus: the music of Bob Marley plays a pivotal twisted role in plot development). Butterflies and pathos. It's all there.

Yet, the sum of the movie's parts was frightening enough to make me cry, not from sheer horror, but from deaths of characters with whom I had briefly become attached. No, not the freaky mannequins, although Smith's performance in his second trip to the video store should have been nominated for an Oscar. Let's just say when the whole shebang climaxed, I felt drained like a played violin. I should have recognized standard movie ploys and kept my distance instead of allowing myself to connect with these incarnations of the human condition.

But don't go by me. I'm a marshmallow in the face of most horror and science fiction. Mind games I can handle. Cataclysmic destruction, not so much.

Stir-fry on the fly

Tonight was a normal cooking night for me which means no recipes to use or write, no solid plans, no clear idea what's in the refrigerator. I don't usually blog about my cooking when I can't present a recipe, but might as well blab on since I've already started. A look in the fridge revealed broccoli and bok choy. Bok choy is so easy to stir fry so of course I chose that. There was tofu, which I haven't had for a while. I thinly sliced some tofu and started sizzling it in the wok and started a pot of water boiling for soba. There was a container of leftover garlicky tamari-based sauce that we had made for bun salad so I tossed some of that on the tofu. There was leftover tomato paste so I added some of that with a little water. Threw in a couple of mushrooms. There was a recipe on Ricki's blog recently that had prunes and olives, and although I didn't have olives, I had a bag of prunes. I added a handful of prunes, cut in half, and also a handful of cashews, which I tend to add to everything. I cut up the bok choy and added that. By now the water was boiling and I cooked the soba and then added it to the wok. It looked pretty good so I photographed it and here it is on my plate. Delicious. Fast. Easy.
Now, about those prunes. I read a while ago that prunes are high in calcium and may help build bones in women. It takes 7 to 10 prunes a day, which is a little beyond my capacity, but it seemed like a good idea to add them to my diet. Why not? They taste good and it can't hurt to add calcium. My husband does the food shopping and he keeps buying the prunes, not noticing if I've eaten any or not... so we usually have them in the house. I haven't been using them in cooking, but tonight could be the start. They really did taste great.

Self-Parodying Journalist Slobber Features Neil Patrick Harris

So, Neil Patrick Harris triumphs with a pithy turn in the stoner adventure, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. But how can anyone call his no-basis-in-reality debauched former child star portrayal an Oscar worthy self-parody?

"To the delight of fans and critics alike, he reprises his turn as Neil Patrick Harris, a doped-up, egomaniacal, prostitute-loving, unicorn-riding narcissist wielding his own personalized branding iron,"

heralds Donna Freydkin's puff piece in USAToday.

Ohhhhh....I get it....since he's gay in real life (not that there's anything wrong with that) and his partying days are behind him, his film alter-ego does curvaceous hookers and copious amounts of illegal substances. According to the article, Harris has nothing in common with his "overblown movie persona, aside from the...quick wit." Quick-witted doper. Now there's a study in contrasts.

Last time I looked, "self-parody" connoted imitation of one's own characteristics. Much as Harris wink-winks in this video, his turn in last weekend's number two film is no self-parody. I mean, as long as we're at it, let's call Kal Penn's Kumar character a self-parody too. In real life, the guy is educated, politically-minded, and well-spoken.

I can't stand fawning bj slants kissing up to the rich and famous. The slobber on this one has me scrambling for an umbrella. Just get a load of the way Harris makes nice with the Britney Spears guest spot on his precious sitcom, How I Met Your Mother.

"We were so conscious when she arrived to treat her well, but not ridiculously special," Harris says. "We wanted her to feel like a guest on our show. We wanted her to feel comfortable so she could do the work. And she did."

This garbage makes my stomach turn. Harris already complained big time about the guest spot cheapening the show. That's the kind of tarty tidbit I want to read whenever he tries to skim over the brouhaha simmering beneath.

Instead, we get sanitized reporting tied up neat and tidy in a bow. For whose benefit? Readers? Or reporters who self-parody reporters of news?

Vacation Lenses

I'll be spending the next week in San Jose Del Cabo, Mexico for our once a year trip to hot sun, bright skies, warm surfing water and a vast selection of choice tequila's that aren't shipped to the states.

Since my lovely wife limits me to the number of lenses I'm allowed to take on vacation (same restriction applies to surfboards), I usually take one or two new lenses, that I haven't shot with, and try to find photo opportunities that put them through their paces.

This year, I'm taking the new DA300mm and 35mm Macro Limited. I might take one other standby lens like the 31mm Limited, but that's it. Here are a few quick shots showing the new 300mm mounted on a tripod, so some of you who asked me, can see how the rotating collar works.

I'll try to post some shots towards the end of the vacation, but it'll have to be when my wife is sunning herself and I can sneak back to our hotel room!

Creamy cauliflower-carrot soup

It's been a rough week for various reasons I won't go into, and I've been eating weird combinations of leftovers instead of cooking. Finally, on Friday night, I needed to cook something. I'm the only one in the house right now (counting humans) as my husband is lecturing and attending a conference in Brazil, so cooking a lot of food was not really reasonable. After such a long and tiring week, I also needed something easy to prepare — and easy to clean up. I decided to make a creamy cauliflower and carrot soup in the pressure cooker. I used to make a similar soup for the kids when I was too tired or short on time to prepare a larger meal. I could give them a nourishing vegetable soup and maybe peanut butter or hummus sandwiches and they would be perfectly happy. In fact, on many occasions when I was searching for something to make for dinner, one of the kids would ask for this soup! It was a family favorite. (When I made it for the kids, I didn't load in the pepper.) I also use this method for similar soups such as broccoli, winter squash or carrot, and sometimes I add celeriac or parsnips to one of the vegetables to add depth to the flavor. Carrot and celeriac is a really good combination, and adding grated fresh ginger after the soup is blended makes it special.

This soup, though simple to make, has a lush and velvety texture that belies its humble beginnings. And the color, a gorgeous shade of pale orange, is comfort for the eyes. You can intensify the flavor with grated fresh ginger, or other herbs and spices of your choice, but the plain version, with fresh dill, was just what I was looking for. I accompanied the soup with avocado spread on crackers.

Creamy cauliflower and carrot soup

• 1 large head cauliflower, cut into large pieces
• 2 very large carrots, peeled and cut into chunks
• 1 quart water (or enough to come just to the top of the vegetables)
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (or more to taste)
  
• 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons Sucanot or sweetener of your choice
• lots of freshly ground black pepper
• fresh dill, parsley or cilantro

1. Place veggies and water in cooker and bring to pressure.
   
2. Turn heat down a little and cook five minutes.
   
3. Turn off heat and wait for pressure to come down.
   
4. With an immersion blender, purée the soup in the pot. If you don't have an immersion blender, blend the soup in two batches in a regular blender. Blend until completely smooth and velvety. If too thick, thin with low-sodium vegetable stock.
   
5. Add lemon, sweetener, salt and pepper. Check seasonings. Garnish generously with dill and serve.

note: Substitute low-sodium vegetable broth for some or all of the water, for extra flavor.

Cranberry-apple sauce

I always stock up on cranberries in the fall. I buy them at the farmers market and freeze them so I can make cranberry sauce or cranberry muffins the rest of the year. If you don't have any, you can usually find them in the frozen fruit section of the grocery store.

This cranberry sauce usually shows up at most holiday dinners at our house. I've never had a recipe for it and it has kind of morphed over the years from strawberry-cranberry to apple-cranberry. I'm not sure when that happened, but I probably was out of strawberries one holiday and substituted apples and liked it better. I never measure the ingredients and usually give vague quantities when asked for a recipe, but this time I tried to keep track of what I was doing because I've been asked so many times for the recipe that I decided to make one. Here's what I think it is - more or less. The basic idea is to have approximately equal amounts of both fruits, so depending on the size of your apples, you may need more or less than five.

If you cook the sauce with apple juice you will need less sweetener. I prefer my sauce on the tart side so I add very little sweetener - maybe 1/4 cup - to get the taste I like. I usually use apple juice but forgot to buy it so I used water this time, but it was still pretty sweet because of all the apples, so I think I added about 1/4 cup of agave syrup. Sometimes I use maple syrup and sometimes Sucanot or sorghum. Use your favorite in the amount you prefer.

Cranberry-apple sauce
-1 bag of cranberries (about a pound, more or less)
-about 5 cooking apples, cut into cubes about the size of cranberries
-handful of raisins
-cinnamon stick or 1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon good vanilla
-2 teaspoons agar agar flakes plus 1/4 cup cold water
-1 tablespoon kudzu or arrowroot plus small amount water for dissolving
-1 cup apple juice
-sweetener of your choice (I use maple syrup or agavé syrup)

Sprinkle the agar agar into the 1/4 cup cold water and let soften while you wash and cut the apples. Combine the cranberries, apples, raisins, cinnamon stick and water or juice in a large pot. Bring to a boil, add the agar agar and stir it in. Reduce the heat and bubble gently for about 10 minutes - or until the cranberries open, the apples soften and the agar agar is dissolved. Place the kudzu or arrowroot (or cornstarch) in a cup and add just enough water to dissolve it. Add this to the sauce and bubble for a minute until the sauce clarifies. Add the sweetener of your choice in the amount you prefer. (Start with 1/4 cup for tangy sauce.) Add vanilla. Transfer to a bowl and cool.

Maybe BarneyCam Should Do Upskirts and Nipple Slips

Celebrity upskirts and nipple slips are all the rage. Everywhere I turn, another blog article or video is out there exploiting famous embarrassment. With so many cameras trained on their every move, you'd think wary celebs would be more careful not to expose their naughty bits.

Nipslips and upskirts must be the inspiration behind Beavercam. I laughed myself silly at the intrepid buck-toothed rodent strapping a webcam to his furry head while trolling Hollywood Boulevard. Having just viewed the riotous DVD of Alvin and the Chipmunks, I see a real future for The Beav.

And then I got to thinking, which came first, BeaverCam or BarneyCam?

Barney, that lovable lolling canine of Dubya and Laura Bush, is the ostensible star of holiday themed webisodes created on behalf of our Executive Branch. I first learned about Barney's star power when White House insider David Almacy spoke at the morning plenary of GW University's 2008 Politics Online Conference.

Let's just say I've been waiting for the right opportunity to set the record straight about these webisodes and though this may not be it, I'm taking my shot.

According to David, BarneyCam was born by strapping a camcorder onto the President's pet and allowing him to romp around the White House grounds. Staffers wanted to provide information about the Executive Branch and limited access to the President on Whitehouse.gov and saw the videos as a way to attract the public. The pilot episode received over 8 million hits.

After reading my article about the Conference, David got the impression that President Bush was dying to be part of BarneyCam, sort of muscling his way in on Barney's success. He wanted me to know that wasn't the case. According to David, the President is and always has been the focus of these episodes.

The first time President Bush joined the cast, he made a joke about the number of viewers, something about whether his episode would get as many hits as the pilot. As I stated in my article, the President's webisode had low viewing stats, not because he was unpopular, but because the White House allowed other sites to embed the video.

Here's the feedback I received from David:

You are correct about the first [Barneycam focusing only on Barney] - I was referring to every one since. There wasn't a specific episode just focusing on the President and the shift occurred starting in 2005 as the Internet grew. The conversation I had with him about the 8 million [viewers] was not a separate meeting but rather just before we taped his part for that year's BarneyCam.

Phew! I am so glad to get that weighty matter off my chest, especially in an article about upskirts, nipple slips, and links to the President's daughter.

After Pennsylvania, Superdelegates Should Examine Crossover Republicans

Thought I got bored with the presidential election? Tuned out? Not exactly. The real answer, if you look and listen closely, can be found in this debate of talking heads.



On the day of the all deciding, all knowing, all confetti breaking loose Pennsylvania Primary, I have a lot on my mind. Sorry, but no links. You'll just have to trust that I know what I'm talking about.

Contrary to talking head opinions, Pennsylvania and Clinton's momentum in it (or lack thereof) will not decide the election. How many times do I have to hear "New York, California, Texas, Ohio, Pennsylvania..." (sometimes they even throw in Florida, as if that could somehow make a difference), and what follows it, to paraphrase, "If Obama can't win in the big states with big prizes of delegates, how can he expect to win in November?"

Idiotic profundity, as far as I'm concerned. That's the real reason I haven't been weighing in.

Obama leads in delegates. No matter what Clinton does or which states she wins from today on, Pennsylvania included, she cannot win the number of delegates needed to cinch the nomination. Prove me wrong, go ahead, the comments section is open.

That means the Democratic nominee will be decided by superdelegates, many of whom, at this stage of the election, will not commit to a candidate. We all know Democratic Party elders have leaned on them to commit. Whether they will actually do so when all states have held their primaries is any one's guess. But assuming they will, how should superdelegates decide?

Many say by looking to the popular vote, i.e. tallying up all primary votes to determine which candidate received the majority. I strenuously disagree.

Florida and Michigan were disenfranchised and though these states went to Clinton, who knows how many of their citizens didn't bother to vote? The other Democratic contenders, Obama included, didn't wage campaigns there. This on instructions of the Democratic Party. This on instructions which practically all Democratic contenders heeded except Hillary Clinton. This, in itself, shows how much Clinton is in this race for herself. But more on this point later.

Superdelegates can neither count nor discount votes in Michigan or Florida because these votes were not obtained in a fair manner. Hold primaries there again? Out of the question. Nobody will foot the bill. Not to mention the havoc it would play with the candidates' schedules. Not to mention the black eye to a Party already deciding not to seat those delegates. Not to mention whatever else I've been too busy to read as to why voters in those states will not get a second bite of the apple.

At this stage of the election, the popular vote is no longer fair game. What would have been fair back at the time of the Potomac Primaries is no longer relevant. Because of Florida and Michigan, we Democrats can never truly know which candidate won the popular vote. Now that Clinton has turned the process into an ugly mud fight for the benefit of the Republicans, all bets are off and the popular vote should go out the window with it.

I don't know about other Democrats, but at this stage of the election, I'm sticking by my party. And what I see are two candidates, Clinton and Obama, who are virtually identical on the issues. The only thing separating them, as pointed out by the talking heads video, is character and ability to lead.

Sorry if you disagree with me, but I don't think there's any question which candidate is superior in these two areas.

Clinton is not be trusted. Bosnia isn't the only lie in this woman's past. Clinton is Machiavellian when it comes to politics. Just look at the way she and Carville lashed out at Bill Richardson. Contrary to her New Hampshire crocodile tears, it's obvious to almost everyone I speak that Clinton is in this race for herself. She will do more damage to the country with policies she and Obama share than Obama ever could.

Obama, despite what talking heads want to say about his lack of patriotism, his questionable associations, and his supposed lack of experience (a subject for a later article), possesses basic goodness and decency. Obama has something Clinton will never have, couldn't have for all the spin in the news cycle.

Conviction of principles.

Make no mistake about this, my fellow Democrats, the Republicans are having a field day over Clinton's dirty politics and the piggybacking antics of John McCain. Obama has been taken through the wringer about his personal associations and out of context comments regarding bitter voters. Not that questions about such matters are off limits -- they are not -- but these questions and Obama's responses to them are muddying the waters at a time when John McCain is literally getting a free pass. Normally, these types of accusations are traded between candidates when each Party's nominee has been decided.

The only ones trading blows here are the Democrats!

At this stage of the election, anyone who is not truly affiliated with the Democrats has no right to weigh in on the Democratic nominee. I wish conservative talk radio hosts would get back to the issues. Fed up? You bet I am. These people are laughing themselves silly over Limbaugh's "Operation Chaos." When they bash Obama, and Clinton and her supporters jump on the bandwagon, it hurts the Democrats.

I know this is so obvious it sounds stupid, but the Republicans have an agenda. They bash Obama because they want to run their weak candidate, McCain, against the weaker of the Democratic candidates, Clinton. Whether Democrats are too divisive within their own party to realize this is happening, I'm not certain. All I know is that it is indeed happening. And Clinton will ride this wave of Obama criticism without regret or a second thought for the Party as far as it will take her, all the way down Pennsylvania Avenue until superdelegates put down their collective feet, stand their ground and say, "Enough!"

We all know Clinton will change with the wind, has already proven she will flop with public opinion, will alter course on any plan of action to appease criticism, will fire campaign staff at will and stomp on loyalty if it means ratcheting up her voter favoritism a notch. First woman president fantasies be damned, this is not a person the majority of Americans will vote to occupy the White House come November.

Whether she wrests the nomination from the hands of Obama in a knock down drag out fight to the end, Clinton cannot win the general election. The only thing Hillary Clinton will ever achieve from this point on is bringing the Democratic Party down in flames. That's what Republicans are hoping for, praying for, folks. Four more fat years under John McCain. They'll worry about 2012 later.

How do I know? Let's just say I talk to people. All kinds of people. Republicans included. What do they grumble about under their breath? They don't like McCain. In fact, they may crossover to the Democrat in this election, that's how much they don't like their annoited nominee.

Will they vote for Clinton? No. But they might cast a vote for Obama. Maybe. Perhaps. It depends upon a lot of different factors. However, unlike when these Republicans discuss Clinton, they haven't ruled out the possibility of a vote for Obama. Therein lies the real difference between the last two Democrats standing. The superdelegates would be wise to take notice.

In Clinton's zeal to win the nomination at all costs, she has forgotten the simple tenet of Party loyalty. She has forgotten how her personal actions could result in victory for the Republicans. This late in the process, with McCain their lock nominee and her "take no prisoners" battle cry, Clinton is rapidly scraping the shine off the Democrats one true chance to win back the White House.

When Pennsylvania primary results come trickling in tonight, if Clinton should emerge victorious, I just hope the superdelegates will have the guts and courage of conviction to look past the short term. A handful of wins in large states does not, will not assure a Clinton victory in the general election. When push comes to shove, when this battle finally does reach its culmination, the war will be won on the backs of crossover Republicans.

Could it be any more clear which of the two Democrats has the best chance of meeting them on the other side?

Matzoh ball soup, etc.

Every year for Passover, we have a wonderful seder with two other families of old friends. I've known the other two families since our kids were small, and our gatherings used to challenge the space available at the table. It usually involved setting up card table extensions and borrowing chairs to accommodate all the kids and an extra friend or three. Now that the kids are grown (the youngest will be off to college next year), the number of guests has dwindled, as children have moved elsewhere. This year we had the same old parents (that would be us) and three of the kids plus one "guest." There were 10 in all. The food, however, seemed to be of the same quantity—too much— as always! Because we had to work around kids' schedules this year, we had our seder on the second night instead of the first. That left me to experiment with vegan matzoh balls on the first night. I was too afraid to muck with tradition at the actual event.
Saturday night I made vegan matzoh balls a la post punk kitchen, and Ken made not chicken soup from Mollie Katzen's "Still Life With Menu." Anyone who has experimented with vegan matzoh balls is probably familiar with both the sad little hard, rubbery ones and the disappearing ones that leave behind a pot full of murky water and nothing else. I'm relieved to say that Isa's recipe yielded 24 golf ball sized matzoh balls that were firm but tender, and tasted just like they should. (Even last night, the leftovers were delectable.) I actually preferred them to the classic ones. The soup was also excellent and filled with carrots and dill. On Saturday I also made our first asparagus spears of the season. Unfortunately, they weren't local, and not up to the standards we expect from our neighboring farms. But it's still too soon for local asparagus. This is, after all, Wisconsin.

On Sunday, I cooked for our big seder with friends, and this year (most years, actually) I brought potato stuffing (three recipes), apple-cranberry sauce and a huge salad. The salad was the champagne salad I posted about recently. In addition to my contributions and the various ceremonial foods, there was soup, potato and mushroom casserole, stuffed cabbage, steamed broccoli and fruit salad. I was really taken with the stuffed cabbage made by Claire, but I won't post a recipe. Stuffed cabbage is just too time-consuming to be considered "easy vegan cooking." I really hope that Claire will make it again next year, but she likes to change things up, unlike me, a traditionalist at heart. Maybe she'll post a recipe and I'll link to it!

I'm going to post my cranberry recipe soon — I promised Claire I would. And also the asparagus recipe.

Pentax Selects RPA as new ad agency

We're excited to announce that RPA is Pentax Imaging's (USA) new advertising agency. Based in Santa Monica, CA, RPA is probably best known for being the agency of record for Honda of America. RPA will develop an integrated campaign, including video, print, digital marketing, collateral, event marketing and Web development.

Here's information about RPA and our press release, if anyone wants to learn more about the agency:

RPA website

PENTAX & RPA Press Release

Thai spring rolls

These have basically the same ingredients as the bun salad from the last post but the sauce should be thick and spicy. You use rice flour sheets to wrap the ingredients instead of putting them in a bowl. I recommend dipping them in a pan of warm water only long enough to make them flexible. If they get too wet they won't stick together and you'll have rolls like ours - falling apart and messy to eat! They will absorb enough moisture from the ingredients to completely soften the wrappers. We find the square wrappers seem to work better than the round ones.

note: When we made the rolls above, we used homemade seitan instead of tofu. We made these again tonight substituting sautéed tempeh instead of seitan, savoy cabbage instead of bok choy and no bean sprouts since we didn't have any. The sauce was unmeasured amounts of agave syrup, Chinese red pepper, fresh lime juice, red chili paste and unsweetened organic ketchup. It may sound weird but it worked!

Maybe It's the Combover: A Night at the Roxbury Reduced to Commercial

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Vietnamese Bun salad

Ever since our son took us to a Vietnamese restaurant last year in Seattle, my husband has been trying to re-create a bun salad like the one we had there. (the "u" is pronounced like "oo" in "book") They've been mostly in the "experimental-needs work" category. Tonight he made one that was delicious and he assures me it was easy. He found a recipe, tweaked it and made it vegan. It's a combination of both hot and cold components. He added some things and left others out and came up with a terrific meal. I hope you like it as much as we did.

Actually, he left out a couple of crucial ingredients by accident. As we were munching away, I said, "isn't this supposed to have shredded romaine?" "Gasp," he replied. Oh well. It tasted great, and he'll add the lettuce - and the basil - next time. You can add it or not. Obviously it works both ways.

Vietnamese bun salad
raw salad ingredients - each in a separate bowl
• 2 cups shredded romaine
• 1-1/2 cups chopped cucumber
• 1/2 cup chopped basil
• whole green onions (optional)

noodles
8 ounces of skinny Asian rice vermicelli
Cook for two minutes in boiling water, drain and rinse. DO NOT OVERCOOK. Got that? These are served at room temperature, not hot.

Vietnamese dipping sauce (nuoc cham)
• 1 clove garlic, minced fine
• 1/2 - 1 teaspoon red chili paste
• 2/3 cup hot water
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 (or more to taste) tablespoons fresh lime juice
• 2 tablespoons shredded carrots
Combine ingredients and stir well.

cooked topping (served hot)
• 8 ounces extra firm water-packed or vacuumed-packed tofu (not the shelf-stable boxed kind)
• 2 teaspoons tamari
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 2 cups fresh bean sprouts
• handful of chopped fresh cilantro
• stirfry vegetables (bok choy, napa cabbage, red bell pepper, shiitake mushrooms, green onions)
Toss the tamari with the tofu and let sit for five minutes. Stir fry the tofu in one tablespoon oil until browned. Add rest of oil to wok and stir fry the veggies until cooked the way you like them. Add cilantro at the end of cooking.

Assembly
Prepare the salad ingredients, noodles and sauce and arrange each in a separate bowl. Cook the stirfry last so it's hot. Put it in a bowl. At the table, each person has a bowl and assembles their own salad. Usually noodles on the bottom, followed by the raw salad ingredients, followed by the stir fry, followed by the sauce.

This uses a lot of bowls, but is really quite simple to prepare, and looks beautiful laid out on the table. It's very colorful and appealing. I wish I had photographed the spread - but I was so hungry!

Florida Teens Violent Video Explained

Just in case skanks don't get the message.

Pentax "brand shop" at walmart.com

We launched our new brand shop on walmart.com this week. The store provides a single landing page or home for shoppers to quickly view all Pentax products that walmart.com now carries. There are separate categories for "DSLRs", "Compact Cameras", "Lenses & Accessories" and "Sport Optics" or binoculars. We'll be running a series of banner ads on key walmart.com pages to help direct folks to our new store. Since this site just launched, we'll be working with walmart.com to add, change product selections to best suite the needs of the walmart.com shopper.

We'll be announcing similar "brandstores" on other key on-line shopping sites during the next few months. Here's a link to the new store if you want to check it out:
PENTAX Store at walmart.com

Champagne salad

Other than the fact that I'm vegan, I don't think of myself as a picky eater. But maybe I'm a little picky. Recently I spotted a beautifully arranged and photographed salad on veg lounge ("the most awesome salad in the world") that I thought would be a perfect accompaniment to the polenta and braised vegetables that we were planning to serve guests last night. As a plus, the dressing used a Trader Joe's product, orange muscat champagne vinegar, that I'd spotted long ago, but had never purchased. Now I had a good reason. So, I wrote a list of ingredients. Hmmm. Steamed beets. But I only eat beets to be polite, never by choice. The two exceptions to that are in borscht, if it has lots of lemon, and shredded raw if someone else has done the shredding. (I learned to eat raw shredded beetroot when we lived in Australia and it appeared heaped on lentil burgers and in the Australian classic, "salad sandwich.") I decided to substitute carrot.

Hmmm. Candied pecans. There's something about the taste of sweetened nuts that I dislike in a big way. Sorry, Sangeeta, there can't be candied nuts of any kind. And truthfully, although I like nuts, I never used to eat them combined with other food unless ground up, as in almond cookies. I still never eat them in baked goods or ice cream, or chocolate. I've learned to enjoy them in savory dishes, but prefer them added whole. I've lately become fond of pistachios, so decided to use those in the salad instead of chopped almonds and candied pecans. I added crystallized ginger for a punch of zingy sweetness.

The dressing was delicious, and fat-free as well - in the original version. I added a tablespoon of olive oil to mellow the sharpness of the lemon just a little. I recommend trying Sangeeta's version, it looks fabulous. But my version was also fantastic, so try it , too. The salad season approaches.

Champagne salad
one large carrot, peeled and grated
1/2 cup roasted, unsalted natural pistachios, shelled
1/4 cup crystallized ginger bits
1 avocado, sliced
handful of grape tomatoes
bowlful of mixed baby greens

Dressing
3-4 Tablespoons orange muscat champagne vinegar
1 tablespoon agave nectar
1 tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice
2 teaspoons low sodium natural soy sauce, shoyu or tamari
1 tablespoon virgin olive oil

Mix the dressing, pour over the salad, toss. You might want to reserve a few pistachios and ginger bits to throw over the top.

If Wishy-Washy Dems Had Their Way at the Convention

(Hillarobama's hair is a spewed version of the original)



Source: [Panda Pages]

Neil Patrick Harris "Will and Graces" Britney Spears

Despite good reviews and great ratings for her psycho receptionist guest spot on the popular TV program How I Met Your Mother and buzz about a possible recurring role, cast member Neil Patrick Harris would rather ban Britney Spears from appearing on the show again.

As reported by Erin Carlson via AP, the former Doogie Howser, M.D. star wants the show to succeed on its content, not guest stars.

"I worry that if they start `Will and Grace'-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. And we're all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. It's the network and the studio's game, you know. It's the promotion department's game," said Harris in an AP story that appeared the previous week.

And so, like Jumping the shark," "Will and Gracing" enters the lexicon as a term of art in the world of entertainment.

Let me take a shot at a definition:

"Will and Gracing" - peppering low-rated entertainment with guest stars to increase advertising revenue.

Anyone else want to take a stab?

Evolution of a Gossip Exclusive - Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are Engaged

I may be giving away too much information about my investigative reporting techniques - HA! - but couldn't leave this one languishing on the trail.

The titillating "stop the presses" news about the engagement of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz seems to have started with an exclusive dish at in Touch magazine sometime yesterday.

As of posting time, blondesaresoout had updated all her friends at Friends or Enemies with "breaking news" about the engagement approximately nineteen hours prior. No permalinks here, folks. You'll just have to trust that it came from the horse's mouth.

This morning about 9:00 a.m. their time, Starpulse ran with the item as if it broke the story. No credit to in Touch. Ouch.

About seven hours ago article post time, the story began to rise dramatically in the Wikio entertainment world. It has four votes currently. Wonder how many it will have by the time you visit the link.

From there it became fodder for the gossip masses. At least Blackberry had the decency to credit the original source.

Ashlee and Pete's engagement news is quickly making its way across the blogosphere. At posting, The Hollywood Gossip led the pack, taking credit for the story about eight hours ago ahead of other blogs hoping to make a splash. Maybe it's just my computer, but some content was blocked as spyware, so you may not want to follow this link. I just find it amusing that the "Free Britney" reporter gave credit for the story to US Weekly.

Us magazine buzzed the story as an exclusive today, I guess because they added tacky gossip about Ashlee's possible pregnancy. Can't discount the possibility of a hush-hush pregnancy now can we? Don't ask me how that somehow elevates the story into exclusive territory. But many bloggers probably won't take the time to investigate, and soon the real in Touch exclusive will be just another faded memory.

Does an exclusive remain an exclusive news item if the online community gives the credit to another source?

That was a rhetorical question.

By this evening, the mainstream media will have the story as leading news. It will be interesting to see who gets the credit for the exclusive.

Paris and Nicole Frenemy Feud Signals Lapses in Tabloid Journalism

First they were BFFs. Then they were mortal enemies. Next it was kiss kiss, make up. Then they seemed to be somewhat more tolerant of one another. But then one of them upped the ante by donating a gift to charity. And later it got plain ugly.

And now? Let's just say that one of them is starting to sound like a petulant 6-year old.

"She's copying me! She's copying me! If she gets pregnant with my boyfriend's twin brother, I'm going to go blooey!"

Oh my Lord, make it stop.

I know as well as anyone this story has very little to do with celebrity politics. It's pretty much a rehash of the same garbage you can find on all the other celebrity gossip sites. But, I cannot look away, I mean, come on, these two are grown-ups -- one of them already raising a child -- and their emotional development is so superficial and stagnant, it makes me want to pray for the next generation of celebrity train wrecks.

Stories like this sell magazines and online advertising better than anything I could ever splice together. I don't fault celebrity tabloids for making fluff like this headline news. My big complaint is about week after week story lines focusing on nothing else. How many times is Britney Spears going to be on the cover of OK! magazine? It's become sort of a running joke in my house every time the free subscription arrives.

"Guess who's on the cover of OK!? Okay, you guessed it." Next.

If tabloid journalists would do a better job of digging the dirt rather than constantly focusing on the bottom line, perhaps I'd be reading some real news in those glossies. No wonder their colleagues think of them as the Danny Bonaduces of journalism.

Get investigative. Plant some restaurant spies around Hollywood and Manhattan. Give me something juicy I can really dig my teeth into. For heavens sake, throw this Baltimore gal a meaty bone.

Perhaps it's because I only began spending my life on the Internet last summer that I missed the big news story about the Paris Hilton cell phone hack. Don't follow this link if you're easily offended by nudity and inappropriate language. Apparently, someone hacked into or figured out the easy password to Paris Hilton's cell phone, providing access to actual celebrity phone numbers, email accounts, and naughtily positioned photographs. The FBI began an investigation and then...well...because the tabloids lost interest, or more likely never bothered with the story in the first place, who knows?

I found this item while searching for information about a different celebrity news story. It no longer links to The Drudge Report which is a real shame given its news worthiness.

Smoking Meat Loaf Spot is Sexy Hot Shill for GoPhone

Does anyone else think the Meat Loaf GoPhone commerical is smoke'n? Not talking about the sparks and fire effects, nah. I mean the way it literally oozes sex appeal.

How some suit took a sizzle and pop classic and mutated it and its primary crooner into shills for cell phones, I'll never know.

There's the Meat, back from career hell and sounding like the way I remember. We used to rock out to this song during air guitar jams in the dorm. Even in his younger days, Meat Loaf was never the kind of rocker who inspired girls to swoon. But his music marks a period in time when practically everyone had some kind of twisted experience tied to Dashboard Light.

For some reason, this longer version of the commercial never seems to make it on the air. Maybe if AT & T sold more GoPhones, they could could afford the cost of the extra half minute.



Is it just me? Or is the son character kinda hot?

Caught the shorter incarnation of "Paradise By the GoPhone Light" during last night's American Idol Gives Back. It was then I remembered how Idol almost single-handedly revived the Meat's career by pairing him with Katherine McPhee. He must have some connections to a producer or Simon because his performance was less than spectacular.



I figured old Meat's second shot came and went which is sometimes just as well. Sometimes, it's best not to mess with memories. But never underestimate the power of an aging rock star. With this commercial, the Meat is back. It'll be fun to see how it all plays out.

But not so fun to accidentally find Ms. McPhee later trashing the rock icon as if he's some kind of joke. Okay, we get it, his talent has seen better days. But even on his worst day, the Meat is a whole lot classier than this dizzle.



"And like, he comes in like, and he’s like, like this frumpy older man, and like just the sweetest guy in the world, but I was like, this looks like, like one of my best friends’ dads, like..."

Talk much? Like give me like a break.

Where does she get off making the Meat into some kind of Ashton Kutcher punk? What has she done that's been notable?

Well, let me sleep on it, I'll give you an answer in the morning.

Pancakes with blueberry topping

Every once in a while I need pancakes. But does anyone really need another pancake recipe? No, I don't think so, but here's one anyway. I made these without looking at a recipe - no following directions to tax my bleary morning mind - and they are pretty basic. My husband and I both enjoyed the results. You could use maple syrup on your pancakes but I prefer blueberries.

First make the topping. It's basically the same as for the french toast post except this time I measured. Makes about two cups of not-very-sweet topping. (Pour the cold leftovers over your morning oatmeal tomorrow.)
Blueberry topping
1 cup organic apple juice
2 cups frozen or fresh blueberries
2 teaspoons arrowroot plus 1 tablespoon water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Heat juice and blueberries to boiling. Add arrowroot to water and stir to dissolve. Add to blueberries and bubble gently, briefly, until thickened. Turn off heat and add vanilla. I like this on the tart side but adding a tablespoon or two of maple syrup, agave nectar, or rice syrup will punch up the sweetness and enhance the flavor. If you like your topping thicker, use only 3/4 cup juice.

Pancakes - makes about 16 medium
1-1/2 cups soy milk
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
pinch cinnamon
2 tablespoons canola oil
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 teaspoon sucanot
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
Put the soymilk and vinegar into the blender to sit for a minute and curdle. Add the rest and buzz a few times. Scrape down the sides. Don't over-blend or the pancakes could be tough. We don't want that. Heat a non-stick griddle until drops of water hiss. Pour the batter into 3 or 4 inch pancakes. When the edges begin to look dry and bubbles form on the surface, flip the pancakes and cook briefly until the bottom is golden. (Flours differ in moisture content so you may need to add a bit more liquid to get the right consistency.)

Somebody Needs to Kill the "Who Killed Obama" Line

From the maker of "Who Killed Anna Wintour" tees, wretched peek-a-boo mumus, and fashion Jewish star tote tops comes the latest insanity apparel, "Who Killed Barack Obama" hoodies and short-sleeved tees.

Doron Braunshtein a/k/a Apollo Braun claims his provocative mini-collection memorializing eavesdropped customer concerns is a showing of support for the Democratic frontrunner rather than a morbid premonition of imminent demise. Braun claims he supports Barack Obama and can't understand death threats he's received from Obama supporters.

But this time, Braun has gone too far and he knows it.

"Could you imagine if Obama were killed? They might blame me. Then I'd be take to jail and have to have prison sex."

Not that he would seem to mind, according to Jerry Portwood of the New York Press.

File this one in the "people will do anything to make a buck" category. Does this nimrod actually believe these tasteless concoctions evoke feelings of love and support for Senator Obama? I suppose being the biggest fan of Anna Wintour motivated him to create her killing tees as well.

What bothers me most about Braun's supposed "performance art" is the notions they will plant in otherwise vapid minds with a yen for infamy. If anything deserves to be banned as hate speech, it's Braun's new mini-collection.

Of course, with the Democratic nomination going down to the wire, there's the additional danger of Hillary spreading misspeak in the guise of fashion. Better slap an injunction on this whole mess now before somebody gets out of hand.

Marc Jacobs Photo Shoot a Posh Mosh Collection

The truth is I'm pretty peeved at myself for spending so much time away. Trying to line up jobs, get exposure, run a household, and be a person... the juggling act is starting to take its toll. Oh, it'll all work out in the end, I'm sure. But in the meantime, The Spewker is definitely taking it on the chin.

To make it up to all our loyal fans -- all five of you -- I'm skewering Victoria Beckham a/k/a/ Posh Spice and her Marc Jacobs photo shoot. The photographs are such a riot, I can't help reprinting them here. But in case I get asked to take them down, you can still laugh at the originals here.


Sara McCorquodale, writing for DailyMail, hones in on this thumbsucker fetal position monstrosity, calling it a way for Posh to evade her status as a fashion icon.


If you ask me, Posh looks like a maid with rubber cleaning gloves who can't decide whether she's going to do a Maypole dance or go to town on her fingers. The streamers flowing from her backside make her look like she's sprouted a tail. You know, if someone would turn this photo to the left 90 degrees, she'd look like a thumbsucker on an invisible pogo stick. Ugh. Yuck. Make it go away.

This frog whisperer photo isn't much better...



Is she trying to seduce the frog, suck it like her thumb, or position her mouth just so hoping it will leap inside? The gloves look thick and oversized, like vintage clothing from the bottom of your mother's hope chest to wear on Halloween. And what's with the hair? Sweat much? It's positively slick, shiny and hanging in clumpy wisps. Couldn't they stop the shoot for a quick shampoo and a blowdry?

Finally, this last composite, I'm not quite sure what to make of it.



I've never seen Posh look quite so Oriental. Is it that black beanie-looking thing over her forehead or the way she's holding the tote like a ninja warrier weapon? Every tense muscle and bulging bicep says this is not a woman to tangle with in a dark alley. Those pink rings around her neck and sleeves -- are they part of some gauzey see-through shirt? Why even bother with a shirt like this? I can see everything nature gave the lady and stuff it didn't. Mashed up implants ready to snap a bra strap or two.

Don't these designers believe in leaving anything to the imagination?

How I learned to make pizza

When I was a pre-teen/early teen, my late father owned an Italian restaurant. Other than pizza and shrimp salad, I have no memory of what was on the menu. Those were the only things I ever ate there and pizza was the main thing. I really loved the pizza. When I discovered that my father was making big vats of pizza dough in the restaurant basement, I was shocked. No one had ever told me that HE was making it. I couldn't believe it. My father was not a cooking - cleaning - help - around - the - house kind of guy. He was a man who prided himself on never having changed a diaper for any of his three children. He went to work and came home and we kids were mostly supposed to not bother him.

When I found out about the pizza dough I was beside myself. I couldn't stop pestering and begging him to make pizza at home. After a couple months of incessant nagging he finally agreed, and this was the start of pizza making at our house. He made the dough and it was my job to grate the cheese (in those days real cheese) and make the sauce. I was probably about 11 or 12 at the time but I still remember it perfectly. It was an uncooked sauce that doesn't sound good but made a delicious pizza. I put tomato paste into a bowl and thinned it with water until it would drop from a spoon. I added garlic salt and oregano and a little sugar until it tasted like pizza sauce. It had to be a little more seasoned than usual so it would be flavorful on the baked pie.

Of course, now I prefer to have some yummy leftover tomato sauce on hand when I make pizza but if I don't...well... I'm not above opening a can of tomato paste and quickly making a sauce. I use granulated garlic or fresh smashed and minced garlic, chili powder and oregano. Maybe some dried onion flakes will be added or some hot pepper flakes. But a jar of Enrico's Pizza Sauce or Muir Glen organic pizza sauce are also reasonable alternatives to homemade.

I still love pizza, and have posted a recipe before this one. It was made with a dough based on Peter Reinhart's mimimal-yeast, slow-rising recipes from "The Bread Baker's Apprentice," a book I love, love, love, and highly recommend to serious and aspiring bread bakers. The breads and pizzas I bake based on the recipe I've worked out for my bread machine (forgive me Mr. R), are stellar. The pizza is fast, but the breads, while not requiring much hands-on time, take all day to rise before I bake them on my stone. The pizza is the thin and crispy crust type and incredibly good.
Here's another idea for a crust based on a fast and easy bread I've been experimenting with lately. It makes a softer, but delicious crust with little fuss - no bread machine needed. I used my variation of the recipe, but the original recipe and instructions are found here. To make pizza, you should let the dough rise once in the bowl, and then form the crust. I used a pizza pan for the crust because I thought the dough was too soft to get it easily onto the pizza stone, especially covered with all the toppings. Let the crust rise about a half-hour before adding the toppings. I used tomato sauce, Follow Your Heart Vegan Gourmet mozzarella, crimini mushrooms, broccoli, onions and sausage crumbles. I pre-heated the oven to 475 and baked the pizza for 3 minutes before turning the oven down to 350 and baking until done - about 20 minutes. Bake the pizza near the bottom of the oven for the best crust and check it for doneness before the whole baking time is up. The recipe makes two breads so I made one pizza and one bread.