Showing posts with label Funny Pix Mix. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Pix Mix. Show all posts
Monday, April 11, 2011
David Letterman Calls Donald Trump a Jackass
In last night’s monologue, David Letterman criticized Donald Trump for demanding Barack Obama’s birth certificate. He then said The Donald’s parentage derived from "jack" and "ass."
I didn’t write down the joke verbatim, but it was something to that effect. Hee-haw.
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Thursday, March 31, 2011
Donald Trump Oprah Makeover Possibilities Threaten Presidential Candidacy (Photos)
Does he or doesn't he... only his hairdresser knows for sure...
... want to run for President, that is.
In a pre-election year longing to crown a Republican front-runner, the 2012 campaign is off to a tepid start. Some 2008 also-rans have already stuck toes in the water waiting to see how many fish will take the bait. Judging from the lack of thrashing and hysterical chomping, I'd say it's time to buy better worms.
What better bait than accusing the incumbent President of lying about his birth certificate and of failing to credit Bill Ayers with writing "Dreams of My Father"? The new challenger enters from left field. Talk about starting a feeding frenzy, the media is lapping it up. It seems like every day he comes out swinging, using fighting words to ratchet up the ante.
China is kicking our patooties. Obama is a fraud. Our Constitution is being attacked from within. Blah, blah, blah, stop blaming Bush.
Who has the cajones to so blatantly bait the media?
None other than The Donald, as in Donald Trump, as in Stirring-Up-The-Pot-For-Free-Publicity-Is-Only-An-Outrageous-Sound-Bite-Away Trump. The wheeling-dealing, self-promoting, self-indulgent multi-bazillionaire is, supposedly, seriously considering a run for the presidency. He and his syncophants probably figure if Ronald Reagan could successfully make the transition from Hollywood to Washington so can The Donald. They may be forgetting that Reagan successfully governed the State of California before entering the national arena. Running a real estate empire and firing C-List celebrities on TV are certainly impressive, but not equivalent to running America. This is where the big kids play.
Is Trump ready for national service? Or would his tendency to create controversy taint the civility of the Oval Office?
At least one person thinks Trump could use a makeover, particularly when it comes to his "double combover." President Obama supporter and Queen of Talk Oprah Winfrey has offered to restyle The Donald's tresses on her farewell show. No word on whether his camp will accept, but with the entire free world watching Oprah wave a tearful goodbye, how could they refuse? It would be either the publicity coupe of the century or a political boondoggle. No matter. As the saying goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity.
In Trump's case, however, his hair could be the exception. Just imagine the possibilities:
Justin Hartley Trump
Nicolas Cage Trump
Michael Bolton Trump
David Beckham Cornrows Trump
David Beckham Fauxhawk Trump
Jude Law Trump
Anderson Cooper Trump
GI Joe Trump
Bad Catskills Combover and Dye Job Trump
Ridiculously High Forehead Trump
Look, I know these artistic renderings are horrible. That's because they weren't shopped. You try matching Trump's complexion to a man with attractive hair. It's darn near impossible.
I sure hope Oprah has an easier time transforming Trump into presidential material.
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Start a 401K and Hope for the Best

Funny, I was thinking exactly the same thing last night while trying to balance my checkbook.
Problem was, the amount of money I have to balance wouldn't fill a kid's piggy bank. The recession is stretching its boney fingers around my neck like a creepy unrelenting death grip. Had to drink a strong cup of java just to distract myself.
Seeing kitty contemplate her windfall evoked a good giggle, reminding me once again the best things in life truly are free.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Top Ten Revealing Fashion Trends
(WARNING: Photos used in this article may be too revealing for children under 13-years old. Parental guidance suggested)
Gack! It's passing for fashion.... or worse ....political statement.
Starting with Kylie Minogue's Q Magazine cover, a fashion trend emphasizing previously unmentionable body parts is beginning to attract media attention and engulf runways. For now, cooler heads can breathe a sigh of relief. The trend doesn't appear to be spreading... yet.
Daring and shocking perhaps, yet unlikely to go mainstream. Which means most people have enough sense to gawk and LTAO before forwarding these pictures to friends. Then again, what do I know? Never thought pajama pants would become trendy and now the lady across the street wears them outside.
So, if you're someone who wants to be caught dead in any of these outfits, by all means, go to town. Just please snap a picture of yourself first. With any luck, someone will forward it to The Spewker.
We could use a good laugh now and then.








Wednesday, September 17, 2008
McCain Palin Make Curious Voter Appeal
The dynamic duo is currently campaigning in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Meanwhile, Svetlana Pankratova and He Pingping dazzle crowds in Trafalger Square.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
George Clooney Hungry for Sack of Potatoes Tails Kidman
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
That's One Coyote Ugly Beehive
Oh my Lord, will someone please explain what Wynonna Judd was thinking?!
That outfit has to be one of the ugliest couture gowns ever known to mankind. Where on earth did she find it? In the trash can at Loehmans?
I'm not just saying this to rag on the anorexically-challenged, but the Amy Winehouse motif is not very flattering. Sorry, but that look only works for skinny nothing crack whores ... people like ... uh .... Amy Winehouse. The Reject of Rehab's beehive and smoldering cigarette are so out of place on Wynonna.
On the other hand, Wy is looking way toned, don't you think. Definitely an improvement...
...if you can overlook the hideous two-toned platforms.
And realize the "gal" on stage is actually actor Jason Biggs performing a la transvestite at the Third Annual Hot in Hollywood charity benefit. The event raises money for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation in Los Angeles.
Buh-bye, Miss American Pie.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Obama New Yorker Cover Screams Silly Season Politics
To combat the flap over The New Yorker's tasteless and offensive cover skewering presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama and wife Michelle, The Spewker goes hog wild, giving equal time to presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain.
Classy guy, old Methuselah Tree McCain.
Wife Cindy too controversial for depiction.
Classy guy, old Methuselah Tree McCain.
Wife Cindy too controversial for depiction.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Celebrity Boob Job Gone Bad
This kind of story really isn't my style, but with so much focus on celebrity body parts, I couldn't resist. Let's see, skin grafts for tats, mutilated lips, corset busting flab, hideous face lifts, the list grows exponentially by the number of inappropriate liaisons getting pruney in Malibu hot tubs.
At that rate, it may extend to infinity and beyond.
Anywho, found some gawdawful pix in Celebrity Hide Out's nip slips and oops (if I told you how I got there, you wouldn't believe me so why bother) and couldn't believe that an otherwise attractive young thang would voluntarily alter the size of her breast cavity with something so incredibly fake. I mean, look at these whoppers, it's like someone stuck two ginormous inflatable bowling balls on her chest and called them bazookas.
Identity of "when boob jobs go bad" after the jump.
Gemma Atkinson.
Come to think of it, that ridiculous boob job could have been any one of a number of Hollywood players.
Update: After this article ran, a site we endorse ran a link to the Fake or Not quiz, a parental guidance suggested site. My score was a respectable 160, although not in the top range. Just goes to show even a trained eye is not infallible.
If you're in the market for NFW time wasters, this quiz is the real deal.
At that rate, it may extend to infinity and beyond.
Anywho, found some gawdawful pix in Celebrity Hide Out's nip slips and oops (if I told you how I got there, you wouldn't believe me so why bother) and couldn't believe that an otherwise attractive young thang would voluntarily alter the size of her breast cavity with something so incredibly fake. I mean, look at these whoppers, it's like someone stuck two ginormous inflatable bowling balls on her chest and called them bazookas.
Identity of "when boob jobs go bad" after the jump.
Gemma Atkinson.
Come to think of it, that ridiculous boob job could have been any one of a number of Hollywood players.
Update: After this article ran, a site we endorse ran a link to the Fake or Not quiz, a parental guidance suggested site. My score was a respectable 160, although not in the top range. Just goes to show even a trained eye is not infallible.
If you're in the market for NFW time wasters, this quiz is the real deal.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Icanhascheezburger Teh Special Sauce Lolz
Have to admit, when I first saw so many Facebook friends joining the "icanhascheezburger" fan club, I was a smidge envious. Who was this ican person and how had he/she become so darn popular? I'd been plugging away dutifully for months and The Spewker was still a blip on nobody's radar. Was there something about "cheezburgers" making people go bonkers?
Finally took the plunge and have to admit, the place is a riot. Should have checked it out way sooner and jumped on the bandwagon, but you know, celebrity politics being a full-time job and all, lolz.

see more politics and fun!
Finally took the plunge and have to admit, the place is a riot. Should have checked it out way sooner and jumped on the bandwagon, but you know, celebrity politics being a full-time job and all, lolz.
see more politics and fun!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Makes Nunsense to Remain Static
I finally convinced my friend Jill to come aboard to help launch a new site. All day long, the two of us have been working up a storm. Can't reveal our new name just yet, but promise to enhance the original concept behind The Spewker with a better design and more clearly defined niche. Then, I realized the entire day had almost passed without a post. For what it's worth, a little chuckle...
Original stars of Nunsense gather in New York City for ten year reunion luncheon.
Original stars of Nunsense gather in New York City for ten year reunion luncheon.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
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