Showing posts with label Funny Pix Mix. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Pix Mix. Show all posts

Monday, April 11, 2011

David Letterman Calls Donald Trump a Jackass


In last night’s monologue, David Letterman criticized Donald Trump for demanding Barack Obama’s birth certificate. He then said The Donald’s parentage derived from "jack" and "ass."

I didn’t write down the joke verbatim, but it was something to that effect. Hee-haw.


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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Donald Trump Oprah Makeover Possibilities Threaten Presidential Candidacy (Photos)


Does he or doesn't he... only his hairdresser knows for sure...

... want to run for President, that is.

In a pre-election year longing to crown a Republican front-runner, the 2012 campaign is off to a tepid start. Some 2008 also-rans have already stuck toes in the water waiting to see how many fish will take the bait. Judging from the lack of thrashing and hysterical chomping, I'd say it's time to buy better worms.

What better bait than accusing the incumbent President of lying about his birth certificate and of failing to credit Bill Ayers with writing "Dreams of My Father"? The new challenger enters from left field. Talk about starting a feeding frenzy, the media is lapping it up. It seems like every day he comes out swinging, using fighting words to ratchet up the ante.

China is kicking our patooties. Obama is a fraud. Our Constitution is being attacked from within. Blah, blah, blah, stop blaming Bush.

Who has the cajones to so blatantly bait the media?

None other than The Donald, as in Donald Trump, as in Stirring-Up-The-Pot-For-Free-Publicity-Is-Only-An-Outrageous-Sound-Bite-Away Trump. The wheeling-dealing, self-promoting, self-indulgent multi-bazillionaire is, supposedly, seriously considering a run for the presidency. He and his syncophants probably figure if Ronald Reagan could successfully make the transition from Hollywood to Washington so can The Donald. They may be forgetting that Reagan successfully governed the State of California before entering the national arena. Running a real estate empire and firing C-List celebrities on TV are certainly impressive, but not equivalent to running America. This is where the big kids play.

Is Trump ready for national service? Or would his tendency to create controversy taint the civility of the Oval Office?

At least one person thinks Trump could use a makeover, particularly when it comes to his "double combover." President Obama supporter and Queen of Talk Oprah Winfrey has offered to restyle The Donald's tresses on her farewell show. No word on whether his camp will accept, but with the entire free world watching Oprah wave a tearful goodbye, how could they refuse? It would be either the publicity coupe of the century or a political boondoggle. No matter. As the saying goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

In Trump's case, however, his hair could be the exception. Just imagine the possibilities:

Justin Hartley Trump


Nicolas Cage Trump


Michael Bolton Trump


David Beckham Cornrows Trump


David Beckham Fauxhawk Trump



Jude Law Trump


Anderson Cooper Trump


GI Joe Trump


Bad Catskills Combover and Dye Job Trump


Ridiculously High Forehead Trump

Look, I know these artistic renderings are horrible. That's because they weren't shopped. You try matching Trump's complexion to a man with attractive hair. It's darn near impossible.

I sure hope Oprah has an easier time transforming Trump into presidential material.


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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Start a 401K and Hope for the Best

I has a money now what do I do wif it?
Funny, I was thinking exactly the same thing last night while trying to balance my checkbook.

Problem was, the amount of money I have to balance wouldn't fill a kid's piggy bank. The recession is stretching its boney fingers around my neck like a creepy unrelenting death grip. Had to drink a strong cup of java just to distract myself.

Seeing kitty contemplate her windfall evoked a good giggle, reminding me once again the best things in life truly are free.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Socialism for the Upper Class

The reality of McCain trickle down economics.

Funny Pictures


[Source]

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sesame Street Meets Pennsylvania Avenue

Exposing bottom feeders of the Bush Administration uncovers unexpected juicy conjecture.

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures

Monday, September 22, 2008

Top Ten Revealing Fashion Trends

Gitmo orange patch bottom - Photo courtesy of Daily Mail

(WARNING: Photos used in this article may be too revealing for children under 13-years old. Parental guidance suggested)

Gack! It's passing for fashion.... or worse ....political statement.

Starting with Kylie Minogue's Q Magazine cover, a fashion trend emphasizing previously unmentionable body parts is beginning to attract media attention and engulf runways. For now, cooler heads can breathe a sigh of relief. The trend doesn't appear to be spreading... yet.

Daring and shocking perhaps, yet unlikely to go mainstream. Which means most people have enough sense to gawk and LTAO before forwarding these pictures to friends. Then again, what do I know? Never thought pajama pants would become trendy and now the lady across the street wears them outside.

So, if you're someone who wants to be caught dead in any of these outfits, by all means, go to town. Just please snap a picture of yourself first. With any luck, someone will forward it to The Spewker.

We could use a good laugh now and then.

Tassle Boob Sweatshirt is a fashion don't - Photo courtesy of Daily Mail
[Source]


Luella Fall 2008 Collection - Photo courtesy Style.com
[Source]


Alice McCall Spring Collection Football Boob Dress - Photo courtesy of Trenddelacreme.com
[Source]


House of Holland Spring Collection Boob Patch Soccer Dress - Photo courtesy HollywoodRag.com
[Source]


Boob Cover Fashion at London Fashion Week - Photo courtesy of LondonFashionWeek.com
[Source]


Japenese See Through Skirt is Just A Design - Photo courtesy Snopes
[Source]


Gay pride body suit fashion - Photo courtesy StrangePolitics
[Source]


Kate Moss poses in ripped jean fashion trend - Photo courtesy Fashionising.com
[Source]


Francesco Scognamiglio Spring Ready to Wear Collection - Photo courtesy of Style.com
[Source]


Body parts knit fashion - Photo courtesy of StrangeCelebrities.com
[Source]



Wednesday, September 17, 2008

McCain Palin Make Curious Voter Appeal

John McCain and Sarah Palin campaign in Grand Rapids, Michigan

The dynamic duo is currently campaigning in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Meanwhile, Svetlana Pankratova and He Pingping dazzle crowds in Trafalger Square.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

George Clooney Hungry for Sack of Potatoes Tails Kidman


[click to enlarge]


Gotcha! That's Nicole Kidman cradling newborn Sunday Rose as they exit the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden, London with a Clooney-esque driver bringing up the rear.

When, oh when will we get a good look at that growing baby?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

We're Not in Monopoly Any More



Gawkers and rubberneckers have a field day. Queen's bishop calls for paparazzi moratorium.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

That's One Coyote Ugly Beehive

Third Annual Hot in Hollywood Charity Benefit debuts with an ugly beehive

Oh my Lord, will someone please explain what Wynonna Judd was thinking?!

That outfit has to be one of the ugliest couture gowns ever known to mankind. Where on earth did she find it? In the trash can at Loehmans?

I'm not just saying this to rag on the anorexically-challenged, but the Amy Winehouse motif is not very flattering. Sorry, but that look only works for skinny nothing crack whores ... people like ... uh .... Amy Winehouse. The Reject of Rehab's beehive and smoldering cigarette are so out of place on Wynonna.

On the other hand, Wy is looking way toned, don't you think. Definitely an improvement...

...if you can overlook the hideous two-toned platforms.

And realize the "gal" on stage is actually actor Jason Biggs performing a la transvestite at the Third Annual Hot in Hollywood charity benefit. The event raises money for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation in Los Angeles.

Buh-bye, Miss American Pie.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

iPhoney Baloney Richie Rich Download

iPhone customers outraged by expensive program doing nothing other than announcing 'I am rich'
No, you pompous, non-functioning, outrageously priced "I am rich" download.


Monday, July 14, 2008

Obama New Yorker Cover Screams Silly Season Politics

To combat the flap over The New Yorker's tasteless and offensive cover skewering presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama and wife Michelle, The Spewker goes hog wild, giving equal time to presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain.


John Methuselah McCain breaks free from the Senate floor to espouse ideology

Classy guy, old Methuselah Tree McCain.

Wife Cindy too controversial for depiction.



Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Celebrity Boob Job Gone Bad

This kind of story really isn't my style, but with so much focus on celebrity body parts, I couldn't resist. Let's see, skin grafts for tats, mutilated lips, corset busting flab, hideous face lifts, the list grows exponentially by the number of inappropriate liaisons getting pruney in Malibu hot tubs.

At that rate, it may extend to infinity and beyond.

Anywho, found some gawdawful pix in Celebrity Hide Out's nip slips and oops (if I told you how I got there, you wouldn't believe me so why bother) and couldn't believe that an otherwise attractive young thang would voluntarily alter the size of her breast cavity with something so incredibly fake. I mean, look at these whoppers, it's like someone stuck two ginormous inflatable bowling balls on her chest and called them bazookas.

Photo of when boob jobs go bad courtesy of Celebrity Hide Out

Identity of "when boob jobs go bad" after the jump.

Gemma Atkinson.

Come to think of it, that ridiculous boob job could have been any one of a number of Hollywood players.

Update: After this article ran, a site we endorse ran a link to the Fake or Not quiz, a parental guidance suggested site. My score was a respectable 160, although not in the top range. Just goes to show even a trained eye is not infallible.

If you're in the market for NFW time wasters, this quiz is the real deal.



Monday, May 26, 2008

Icanhascheezburger Teh Special Sauce Lolz

Have to admit, when I first saw so many Facebook friends joining the "icanhascheezburger" fan club, I was a smidge envious. Who was this ican person and how had he/she become so darn popular? I'd been plugging away dutifully for months and The Spewker was still a blip on nobody's radar. Was there something about "cheezburgers" making people go bonkers?

Finally took the plunge and have to admit, the place is a riot. Should have checked it out way sooner and jumped on the bandwagon, but you know, celebrity politics being a full-time job and all, lolz.

Political Picture - John McCain & Hillary Clinton
see more politics and fun!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

If Wishy-Washy Dems Had Their Way at the Convention

(Hillarobama's hair is a spewed version of the original)

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton may not run on the same ticket for president in election 2008, but a lot of Democrats mistakenly think they should


Source: [Panda Pages]


Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Holiday Photo Oportunity?

Photo courtesy of neoconnews.com
PEACE ON EARTH, GOODWILL TO TIME'S MAN OF THE YEAR.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Santa Claus Gone Wild

santa the flashing idiot

"Hey little girl, ask your mommy if she wants to kiss this!"

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Makes Nunsense to Remain Static

I finally convinced my friend Jill to come aboard to help launch a new site. All day long, the two of us have been working up a storm. Can't reveal our new name just yet, but promise to enhance the original concept behind The Spewker with a better design and more clearly defined niche. Then, I realized the entire day had almost passed without a post. For what it's worth, a little chuckle...

Original stars of Nunsense gather in New York City for ten year reunion luncheon.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Universal Thanksgiving Question



"'Scuse me, but I have to know. Do these giblets make me look fat?"