New Cartoon Strip and Internet Radio Show Are Eating up All My Free Time

So much has happened since my last post to this blog. I really don't know where to start. I think I may start to ramble. Please pardon the disconnect.

Before I begin, let me just say how very encouraged I am by the number of visitors "The Spewker" has continued to receive in my absence. Despite the lack of updates for well over 18 months, readers from all over the world continue to visit this site and read my articles. I think it's a testament to the time and effort invested in trying to make this site part of something bigger and better. For all of your past and future patronage, I am eternally grateful.

Feel free to continue to drop by, post comments, and follow outside links. Just a side note about comments: don't post comments that advertise other sites but have no relevance to my articles. None of them will make it past moderation. I'm a stickler about staying true to the real purpose of comments and would never shill my own blog on someone else's site other than to note a true connection.

Now, getting back to me (yes, it is always about me, isn't it?) ... I have finally come to realize that The Spewker was not meant for anything greater than it has already become. My experience with Examiner was also awesome and wonderful in its own way, but that too is now in my past. The time has come to move on.

Not that any of it was a waste of time, mind you. Learning by doing is one of the greatest experiences anyone can ever have. Rather than listening to some seminar guru drone on about how to get from point A to point B, I've had the opportunity to learn first hand what worked and what didn't. In the process, I've become a viral marketing and social networking expert of sorts, and that is valuable training I could never receive from a book or by sitting in a classroom.

If you have the time and ability to live on the fly (because you'll be earning next to nothing if you decide to do this), I highly recommend the trial and error approach for those with viable talent who want to promote themselves online. Justin Bieber did it, and to some extent, so did Colbie Caillat. Now they're living the dream. As the saying goes, cream will rise to the top. It's just a matter of determining whether you have the cream before you start plugging away.

In that regard, I think I've got cream. I write, I draw, I create. I'm also fairly original, although I do keep a pulse on what resonates and what doesn't, then try to create something in the same vein yet different. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Blogging is great and I love the connections I have made online, but obviously I'm looking for more than just Google Ad revenue. I want to be an entertainer. Finally, I think I'm on to something and that's why I'm updating "The Spewker" after an 18-month-plus absence.

This will be (I hope) my last update. Celebrities and politics don't mix, and when they do, it's a recipe for utter disaster. Serious matters are not meant to be treated frivolously. If there's anything I've learned from my Spewker and Examiner experiences, it's that.

Look for me at my new blog, "Reckons of Crass Construction." It's only a month old and already it's becoming a good outlet from views and opinions I could never express at "The Spewker." I'm also using the blog as a launching pad for my latest projects, two fledgling ideas that recently coalesced into coherent and concrete material.

The first is a comic strip I've decided to call "Reality Whore" because what better name for a situation comedy where people will do anything to become rich and famous, even prostitute themselves in the process? I update the strip about once a week (give or take), but still haven't named the two main characters. Yes, I'm open for suggestions. So far the strip has received some pretty positive feedback. I hope the positive continues and that you'll help the strip reach a wider audience by sharing it with friends.

The second project is a half hour news talk comedy program on BlogTalkRadio called "Trivialization of the News." Our third episode will air this Monday, July 5, 2010 at 1:00 p.m. EST, and I would love feedback from anyone who happens to read this post or drops by our page. Co-host RafiT and I joke about interesting news headlines in a loose compilaton of odd news, Baltimore news, national news, and celebrity gossip. We also run a weekly contest where we give away a free flag T-shirt to the first person with the correct answer. Last month it was a "Who Said It?" contest. This month, I think we'll change it to movie or TV trivia. Almost anything can happen during the broadcast and generally does. Again, we've received some encouraging feedback about the show. Feel free to weigh in or call during the broadcast for a chance to win the free T-shirt.

Well, that's a wrap. I'm keeping "The Spewker" up because one never knows what may happen. I may need this platform for some other crazy idea I decide to launch. But I hope not. The greatest gift to me would be seeing all of your smiling faces over at "Reckons of Crass Construction" where I'll be blogging my little heart out, at least for the foreseeable future.

Until then, stay sharp and keep on connecting.

Hairdo Horriblus Giving Fashion a Bad Name

Runways can't get enough of them and now celebrities are rapidly joining their ranks. Continuing the Amy Winehouse trend of hairdo horriblus, follicle follies are taking root across the pond and beyond.

Okay, my puns need work. But so do unpalatable updos, hair accessories with no business being seen in public, and styles that haven't seen the light of day since 1969.

Consider Victoria Beckham's latest roadkill pixie. The look is positively revolting and I don't mean that in a good way. No idealistic counter-movements here. More like get back to the drawing board and splurge on hair extensions. Halle Berry Posh is not.

Just thinking about the endless possibilities of more monkey see monkey do made my heart go pitter-pat. Imagine these hilarious reverberations.

Victoria Beckham

Paris Hilton

Sienna Miller

Whoopi Goldberg

Madonna

Donald Trump

Incredibly silly, right? No more than the real thing. These are not -- I repeat NOT -- the latest looks for Halloween.

Amy Winehouse

Alan Cumming

Abbey Clancy

Adele

Yvonne Hoelzel

On second thought, that last one would make a fabu Marie Antoinette.

Top Ten Revealing Fashion Trends

(WARNING: Photos used in this article may be too revealing for children under 13-years old. Parental guidance suggested)

Gack! It's passing for fashion.... or worse ....political statement.

Starting with Kylie Minogue's Q Magazine cover, a fashion trend emphasizing previously unmentionable body parts is beginning to attract media attention and engulf runways. For now, cooler heads can breathe a sigh of relief. The trend doesn't appear to be spreading... yet.

Daring and shocking perhaps, yet unlikely to go mainstream. Which means most people have enough sense to gawk and LTAO before forwarding these pictures to friends. Then again, what do I know? Never thought pajama pants would become trendy and now the lady across the street wears them outside.

So, if you're someone who wants to be caught dead in any of these outfits, by all means, go to town. Just please snap a picture of yourself first. With any luck, someone will forward it to The Spewker.

We could use a good laugh now and then.

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Making Time for Reality

So yah, we're back. What a great place to call home. Four hours in traffic to the heart of Manhattan. Two hours to Philly if you like Mummers and cheese. Two and a half hours speeding east to the great Atlantic. And a mere forty minutes to the nation's capital, give or take the unforeseen, like an accident or enforcement radar.

Gotta love being able to get up and go, something so many of us take for granted. We'll travel when we have the time, explore an old stomping ground when there's more time, take a vacation in due time.

It's cliche I know, but there is no time like the present. What ever happened to finding time to be alive?

Wistfully breezing about the blogosphere, I landed upon a blast from the past. Shirtless John-John courtesy of Kenneth in the (212). Now there's a blogger who isn't afraid to take chances. Talk about the edge of good taste, how long has it been since the end of that political dynasty crashed and burned? Yet, there's bold and sassy Kenneth paying tribute to the tragic son as if still perusing The Hamptons with nothing but sunshine beating down on the promise of tomorrow.

More like the promise that should have been.

I suppose I should be sad, perhaps angry about the cavalier exploitation of a young man with no choice but to live in the public eye. Pimped out like a '62 Chevy, another icon of the past. Hot beefcake for the masses, let's ogle and swoon. But strangely, instead I saw hope and promise forever etched into a steely gaze. The handsome devil-may-care curls stylishly transformed into power hairdo by the fashionistas of 5th Avenue. A gleam in the eye of a generation with nothing but time.

That's the problem with unfulfilled expectations. Even those who are truly great don't get forever to shine. Kenneth's retrospective of JFK, Jr. as shirtless hunk may be sacrilegious to some, but then, what exactly did he leave behind? An aspiring magazine and the body of an Adonis. Pretty impressive for a gym rat. Not so much for the scion of Camelot.

Strike. Strike while the striking is good. Strike like there's no tomorrow. Strike proudly and free. You know what I'm trying to say. The rest is just commentary.

First Photos Surface of Pregnant Man's New Baby

The world welcomed celebrity baby Susan Juliette on June 29, 2008. First photographs have finally surfaced.

When I mentioned the news to my friends, hardly anyone knew who I was talking about. Of course my friends regard celebrity gossip and culture as utter foolishness and a waste of time, but that's a whole other matter.

Get a load of the full shock of dark hair. A Suri Cruise doppelganger in the right light. Cute delicate facial features too. This baby's a keeper.

Three cheers for the simple and elegant. No Sunday Rose, Nahla Ariela, or Knox Leon for this baby. For once, a simple run of the mill pretty name from the far reaches of "celebrityness." Then again, when was the last time anyone chose Susan as a first name for their newborn? Very popular in my day. Not so much any more.

Why should it matter that the person who gave birth to her is legally a man? Despite reports to the contrary, little Susan did not enter the world via C-Section. Glad to help put that burning question to rest. Must be nice to pick and choose reproductive organs like menu items a la carte. Male for a legally issued marriage certificate, female to give birth.

But seriously, I'm on the side of little Susan's parents. Doesn't matter who's craddling her in the middle of the night, changing her diapers, or feeding her breast milk. Two loving parents in a stable nurturing relationship is all any kid needs for a leg up in this life. That and a house full of moolah.

Okay, nix the moolah. Material stuff is ethereal fluff. Here today, gone tomorrow. As any Michael Landon, Jr. movie pounds one over the head with a sledge hammer to insinuate, life is not about stuff. Connections, relationships, good health, serenity, comfort, stability, these are the things that truly matter in life.

Baby Susan Juliette has just as much shot at those things as anyone else, perhaps more so if you take into account her beginnings. This baby's parents wanted her so badly they were willing to endure public humiliation to give birth. And sell the story rights.

No, really, from all appearances the Beaties seem to be a happy couple on good terms with extended family members. That's more than I can say about most other blended families.

And from what I understand, the couple has made a pretty penny from exclusive photo shoots, news coverage, and a tell-all memoir.

Now everybody let 'em be.

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

Sometimes I feel like I'm completely insane.

Articles posted at 4:00 a.m. Kids needing to be packed for camp. Letters for more important matters languishing in the computer. Phone calls waiting to be made. R.S.V.P.s still missing in action as deadlines for celebrations approach. Gifts that have yet to be purchased. Library books way overdue. Freelance articles promised but not delivered.

Did I mention the piles of laundry and dishes stacked like building blocks in the sink?

And yet, through it all, I edited a video for YouTube. I started my day off productive, I swear. Don't know how I became so distracted.

Oh well, time to start all over again.

Will Smith Drops Open Marriage Bomb in Revealing Interview

Is Will Smith's mind-blowing revelation in Reveal magazine already old news? In a word, yes, as confirmed by at least one other commentator:

Isn't this old? I coulda sworn I heard this a couple of years back and they had to explain that. Anyways its very, very sad. sounds like monique's dumbass when she said the same thing.

The commentator is referring, of course, to Smith's confessed open marriage policy with wife Jada, an arrangement seemingly more controversial than gay marriage because by definition a marriage built on outside hook ups is antithetical to the basic foundations of marriage and marriage ideology.

I didn't hear anything about this back in 2005, maybe because I was getting my news from the mainstream. But if comments on these articles are any indication, there's a morality war raging across the country with little fanfare in the media.

Hey, whatever two people do in the privacy of their own home is up to them. The part I'm against is the sucking in of third parties who are either way in over their heads or scary kinky. That opens the opportunity for mind games to start kicking in, and before you know it you and your significant "others" have created an unhealthy environment for young children, friends, and even other relatives.

If this juicy piece of gossip is any indication, the Smith kids are going to need plenty of therapy:

I was wondering why Will was so close to Tom Cruise (the midget, who was the "boy toy" for that gay billionaire, Geffin, when, Tom was young of course), going so far to kiss him at a premier or two and you always hear about Will visiting Cruise, ha, ha. I always thought Will was a 'little' too comfortable/friendly with his male co-stars.

But, whatever floats your boat, as long as he doesn't bring home aids or Hep 'C' to Jada! She acts like and dresses like a little dyke anyway, so, she probably is a switch hitter anyway, too.

Lets face it, they are a loose couple and play around....

I know I know, what's the harm if everyone's on board? Well, relationships are hard enough to navigate without the added pressure of a complicit spouse. At least when you're living together, everyone pretty much knows where they stand. The long-term open relationships of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell or Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins immediately come to mind. Couples like that often say what holds them together is knowing they have the choice to leave. When you have that kind of mindset, why bother with a piece of paper?

Marriage with benefits defiles the institution of marriage, affecting those who are too weak and vulnerable to resist its destructive tendencies. I'm not saying Will and Jada aren't happy, they probably are like peas and carrots.

I'm just wondering whether the people closest to them will eventually emerge unscathed.

Taking John Waters to Task for Backlash Against Honfest

Once a year, the Hons take center stage here in Baltimore. Hampden, to be precise, home of the Miracle on 34th Street," is also Hon capital of the world. Hon ground zero, if you will. The annual Honfest hit the ground running this past weekend and attendant fireworks didn't disappoint.

But before we get to the persnickety controversy, let's get one thing straight. The celebration of Hons is a time honored tradition in these quirky parts, a dubious distinction Baltimoreans proudly wear on their sleeves.

This Baltimoron is no expert on Hons, having grown up in the vicinity of the now mammoth Sinai Hospital complex and world famous Pimlico Racetrack, later becoming a faceless mass in the white flight to suburbia, but I do know a thing or two about visceral affiliation with hometown identity. Los Angeles is inextricably linked with all things Hollywood, Wisconsin with cheese, San Francisco with streetcars and the Golden Gate Bridge, Detroit with Motown, Washington D.C. with the business of politics, and Baltimore with hons and crabs.

Is that a faux pas? I'm just speaking from the heart, hon.

No, seriously now, the distinctive accent, fixation with spirited birds, crab a la everything, Nipper the phonograph dog, Natty Boh, marble steps, Bromo Seltzer Tower, Preakness, and Honfest distinguish Baltimore from its more tony neighbor down I-95, although as far as the cartographers are concerned we might as well be one and the same. Ever notice how Washington, D.C. is prominently featured on every map and Atlas but Baltimore barely cuts the grade? Do you have any idea what it's like to live in a town with a combined population approaching two million (Baltimore City and Baltimore County are governed by different municipalities but are essentially the same area) and forever be lumped into the same locale as a place that couldn't be more different if its survival depended on it?

Yes, I'm talking about D.C. Twin cities we are not. Siamese twin polar opposites is more like it.

Just like the Preakness and pro sports teams named after birds, Honfest is uniquely Baltimore. The history of Hons, so I'm told, began with the hard-working woman of World War II. When the GIs returned, these enterprising young ladies continued to work. Hey, Baltimore is not a town of Ritz. I imagine back then money was just as tight as it is now. These second incomes helped support an upwardly mobile but modest lifestyle during the boomer age. You can't fault women for wanting better lives for their families.

As the story goes, women didn't work in executive positions, they took hard scrabble jobs. So on weekends, they liked to get dolled up and party. And Baltimore being the kitschy town that it was (and is), dolled up meant tight outfits, massive jewelry, appalling makeup, and hair piled high to the sky. Think New Jersey south of the Mason-Dixon. Beehive hairdos were all the rage and nobody wore them better than east side Baltimore. The higher, bigger, shinier, and stiffer, the better. Believe me when I say John Waters didn't have to think long and hard when he thought up the title to Hairspray.

More about dear John later.

Anyway, these dolled up, tight laced, beehive wearing, red lipped, smoking ladies eventually became known as Hons. It must have something to do with the way Baltimoreans talk because I remember being called Hon quite a bit on the streets in and around the racetrack. Even now when I venture to the Inner Harbor some gum cracking waitress will shout out a Hon or two. A term of endearment really, just an abbreviated "honey" with the glory of Baltimore "OH" lovingly wrapped inside.

Ever been to a sporting event with Baltimoreans and notice how they scream in unison "OH" when they get to the "Oh say can you see" part of the Star Spangled Banner? It's all connected I'm telling you, in an Oriole birds and "dem O's" quirky kind of way.

When Baltimore's Hampden neighborhood decided to reinvent itself as the suburbs of City rather than a dingy mill section of town, Mom and Pop businesses moved in like crazy. Today, a stroll down The Avenue is like walking around New York's TriBeCa, there are so many unusual shops and restaurants to see. Not to mention a liberal dose of second-hand store gold mines. Hampden is one of a kind because it's uniquely Baltimore, much like Fells Point but without the water.

Some time ago, CafeHon -- the jewel of Hampden -- began a one day neighborhood gathering to celebrate Baltimore fashion and culture, affectionately christened Honfest for those who dare to be kitsch. The annual event has since morphed into a two-day festival with an anything goes mentality, many abandoning all form of reason in their quest to become Hon chic. These people have their hair done in beehives, wear obnoxiously loud clothing and stilettos, don so much makeup they look like Kelly Osborne on Halloween, and enter Hon competitions for the chance to be crowned "Miss Baltimore Hon."

I know. I know. It sounds like an Iowa corn festival and maybe in some respects it is. Baltimore is a big city comprised of little neighborhoods. There really is a hometown feel, an indescribable slice of life you can't get anywhere else on this planet. Honfest has the potential to transform into a monumental party on the same scale as today's Mardi Gras (but definitely NOT Mardi Gras before Katrina -- that would be stretching the build up too far).

Okay. I've done my best to describe Hons and Honfest. Now we get to dear John. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, a huge fan of John Waters, his brand of entertainment, and his take on life. If it weren't for Waters, Edith Massey would never have become "The Egg Lady," there'd be no such thing as front lawns decorated with pink flamingos, and Divine would have been just another drunken whore stripping for tips down on The Block. Waters savored these seedier spawns of Baltimore and in doing so made them mainstream. The magnitude of his success is a little shocking considering his film making origins. I mean honestly, back in the 1960s, he was the probably the first person to film a transsexual devouring dog crap. Steaming dog crap. With a hint of lemon.

As a native Baltimoron who wears her Honness as a badge of honor, I have no qualms taking Waters to task for his recent statements against Honfest. For the record, he lambasted the celebration saying the Hon image was so overused he would no longer utter the word or use the idea in any of his scripts. Not only that, he urged the City of Baltimore to stop supporting the event, claiming people who now participate do so to denigrate Hons.

Yup. The native son and one who paved the road for unbridled madness now turns his back on the monster of Honfest, professing lack of authenticity mars the luster. Reminds me of Dr. Frankenstein and monster remorse, although in that story the monster tried to kill anything in its path and wreak mayhem.

In contrast, Honfest is a harmless lovable fuzzball, a chance to bond with homegrowns giving Baltimore a distinct flavor separate and apart from that political metropolis down I-95. The fact that the idea caught fire with so many out of towners is all the more reason to revel in all things Hon, don't you think? Waters really missed the mark and that's a low down dirty rotten shame.

Seriously, hon, we're talking two days. Two days of blissful merriment and bustling business for tiny Hampden. Waz all de fuss har?

Celebrity House Gawker Inspires Drool

When my friend Brian forwarded this amazingly well written article featuring the 10 most beautiful celebrity mansions, I couldn't resist copping a link.

Opulent and architecturally exquisite, these monoliths punctuate the reason people like myself become transfixed by celebrity fare. Most of it is out of this world, the stuff of Fantasy Island. Average folks long for access to the perks of the rich and famous.

Feast your eyes on the Seinfeld mansion in East Hampton, NY. Its annual tax bill costs more than the purchase price of an average American home.

Wonder what the monthly utility bill runs?

Crashing L.A. Traffic and MTV Movie Awards

A Baltimorean on their first visit to L.A. in twenty years is like a bird trying to stretch its wings in a 2 by 4. Don't remember how to get anywhere (should have ordered a GPS with the rental), people are less friendly, and traffic is a mother effer.

Seriously, going nine miles from place A to place Z can take two hours on a bad stretch. Tried to get from Venice Beach to Pico and Robertson just the other and sat in a jam for a full hour. Move a block, red light. Another block, red light. Did the traffic engineers out here go on strike too?


The scene outside House of Blues

Last night, my friend Gene Feldman and I, basically hung out on Sunset doing absolutely nothing. Oh, we stopped to have a drink in a heated outdoor cafe, and Gene ran into his cousin who was hastily making his way to the House of Blues, but other than some crazy guy yelling into his cell phone about a detached member in a getaway car, and some drunk floozy literally bumping into Gene, asking if she could use my camera to take our picture, the night was very low key.

And fun. Gene is a riot.


Sunset Boulevard near Comedy Factory

Trying to score tickets to the MTV Movie Awards tonight, but the leftovers cost a fortune. May just settle for a spot in the bleachers to watch the stars roll in. That is, if we can beat the traffic to arrive there on time.

Hope for Economic Stimulus Package Pinned on Coolspotters Shoulders

Looking like a niche social network for obsessed celeb watchers, Coolspotters.com launches a celebrity connection sometime later today or tomorrow, depending upon your Google Maps location.

If it weren't for the brash commercialism, I'd definitely be one of the first ones to sign on. The site connects people to stuff, the implication being if you've seen stuff on a celebrity or in some media program, you must make it your own. Chat up the products and make some new friends...or maybe frenemies, who knows?

"Rate stuff, leave comments, and follow cool people," urges a diagram at the top of the homepage. "Coolspotters is the Google of people and products," proclaims Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist. Oh bully. Just who everyone wants to see in their browser. A stylist instead of an actual celebrity. Now you too can purchase the same styling sheers used to shave Britney's head. Only a thousand bucks at Vidal Sassoon. Hurry while supplies last.

I can see it now. Bored upwardly mobile teenagers flocking to Coolspotters, gossiping about celebs, rating the coat Lindsay stole, spending sugardaddy's hard earned cash on stuff they don't really need.

That oughta make Dubya light up like a Christmas tree.

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Fake Paparazzi for the Insanely Infamous

The Today Show ran a segment this morning about some positively revolting practice involving ordinary folk and fake paparazzi. It's bad enough that someone is peddling their services as fake paparazzi, but so much sicker that some mad pathetic losers are actually buying it.



For a corporate event or someone's B'ar Mitzvah, okay, okay, I get it. But the women on Today, who were simply out for a night on the town, got their jollies by acting like somebody famous with an entourage. At the end of the segment, one of them giggled like a school girl as a fairly nice-looking guy at the bar tried to guess her identity. I think these posers may have hired a limousine service and fake bodyguards for full effect, but truthfully, I was so nauseated after the first fifteen seconds, I tuned out.

Now to top everything off, we have bloggers coining and analyzing this demeaning and demented phenomenon, as if token respectability could make this freak show any more palatable. Have we really sunk so low as a culture that reality shows are no longer good enough vehicles for everyone's fifteen minutes of fame? At what point do such troubling developments cross the line of "having fun" and enter the realm of insanity?

Ah, the good old days. When being followed by crazy insane photographers was the price of fame for real celebrities. Now non-celebrities have priced fame as crazy insane photographers following them. In the future, when everyone will have their own personal paparazzo, there'll be no one left to hound the real celebrities. They'll be the ones with hats and sunglasses walking down the street so quickly, they won't even blip the radar.

In the not so distant future, ordinary people will be too busy scanning the wannabes to notice the real deal. Which is good because finally, real celebrities will get to shop in the malls and buy their own groceries.

ShrewdLease Evaluator Saves Time and Money

Some people insist on leasing rather than owning a vehicle. I could never figure out why until I got married. My husband is one of these people who likes to trade in a vehicle every year or every other year. Rarely has he kept a new vehicle for more than three years. For someone like him, leasing makes perfect sense.

People who prefer to lease should be able to compare lease terms. Sadly, most people never get that far. They just see a car they like, decide the monthly payments are affordable, and sign on the dotted line.

But, leasing a vehicle is so much more than plunking down money on a vehicle you won't own. It's crucial to understand lease terms and what makes the terms of one leasing agreement better or worse than another. That's where the Vehical Lease Evaluator of ShrewdLease steps in.

The Evaluator is fairly straight forward and easy to use. It begins,

A Shrewdlease evaluation can be made on any brand new automobile offered under the industry normal terms of a 'closed end lease'.

We suggest you have a lease ad from a newspaper or magazine, an offer from a dealer, a preliminary or completed lease agreement, or firm numbers from a leasing company on hand, upon which the evaluation can be made.

If you're serious about leasing, you should enter a valid e-mail address when prompted. Then continue to use the Evaluator in ten easy steps.

Enter the MSRP (manufacturer's suggested retail price) for step one. Step two requires the total due at signing. The monthly payment amount is step three. Enter the lease period for step four. Annual mileage allowance is step five. Then the capital cost for step six. "Option to purchase" price at the end of the lease is step seven. Then enter the number of months for the manufacturer's warranty period. Step nine is the excess mileage charge. Voila. You're done. The Evaluator synthesizes all the information and provides an informed opinion in step ten.

If your lease does not provide information for any of the required steps, simply leave that particular step blank and continue forward. Also, if your lease provides the information in a way that requires calculation, there's a handy calculator that pops in a second window throughout the process.

Despite my best efforts to keep my PC virus free, I'm afraid something is slowing it down. Yes, we've looked at it, run debugging programs, installed firewalls, the works, still, it doesn't run quite right. This could account for the more than three minutes it took for the Evaluator to move ahead to step ten.

When I was done clicking each field to verify the numbers, it was time to validate. The validation is a good device because it will prompt you to correct any inadvertent errors. If everything is in order, just click "calculate" and wait.

This time the waiting period was almost instantaneous. Unfortunately, the lease I wanted to evaluate scored quite low on the ShrewdLease scale. Which basically means the deal was a bad one and I should try to get a better deal from the leasing company. Or look for something better.

That's good because ShrewdLease just happens to have a leasing forum with available offers. And it clearly pledges lack of an affiliation with any particular manufacturer, dealer, or banking institution. So, one can assume the site provides unbiased lease offers. If you're still dubious, just return to evaluate another lease of your own choosing.

As an extra bonus, there is a FAQ section for problematic leases that don't quite fit the mold, plus a contact link for especially difficult issues and questions.

I would recommend the Evaluator to anyone who is considering leasing a vehicle. The steps are simple and easy to navigate. The end evaluation can save you big bucks. Also, you don't need to give a real e-mail address to make use of it, a big plus for paranoid people such as myself who are deathly afraid of spammed e-mail accounts.

But isn't that what gmail is for?

LED Christmas Lights are the Latest Fashion in Home Decor

The holidays have ended, but the beat goes on. Celebrities continue to make fools of themselves. Politicians continue to trade verbal slings and arrows. The writers strike continues to infinity and beyond. And bloggers continue to rise to the challenge of a new media, exploring different opportunities while engaging their passion, whatever that passion may be.

So, with no further ado, wrap your mind around this. What if you kept a little piece of the holidays around all year long? What if those Christmas lights had every day uses? No more need to pack 'em up and pack 'em out year after year. Imagine skipping the onerous task of inspecting each individual bulb while winding, winding, always the incessant winding, carefully, carefully, oh so very carefully so that another light doesn't break and slip your mind until it's too late to beat the crowds at the malls.

Introducing LED Christmas lights. These little buggers are mighty impressive feats of engineering ingenuity. LEDs are encased in epoxy rather than glass, so they're nearly indestructible. They're energy efficient, rust proof, less likely to ignite nearby material, and last almost a hundred times longer than ordinary Christmas lights. They also come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes, PLUS, one burnout won't kill an entire strand.

A product like that deserves to become a fixture in people's lives. In doing our part to keep the holiday spirit alive, we brainstormed five every day uses for LED Christmas lights:

1. String red ones across the top of your bedroom walls and turn them on when you're seriously trying to turn someone on.

2. The white ones would look lovely wrapped around an outside gazebo or trellis. If you like to gather outside in the evening, they're a great way to save on electricity without having to sacrifice ambiance.

3. If you're like me, you probably hate wasting electricity to make a one or two minute trek to the basement. String a set of crystal white raspberries around the bannister and take all the guilt out of going downstairs.

4. These multi-colored icicle lights would look gorgeous as a centerpiece. Add some products from your local art supply store to create something truly unique.

5. Do you decorate your walls with framed paintings or prints? Showcase your art with LED rope lights. Your guests will be impressed by the museum-quality effect. Turn the other lights down low and get the added atmosphere of a genuine party.

LEDs. They're not just for Christmas.