Brett Ratner Hanging Out With Family on Melrose

Here's the skinny. There's a lot to write about, but no time to do so. The girls and I are having dinner with our extended California family. Much prepping to do. Can't really write when I'm rushed, at least not in a professional manner. So, consider this article an email from a very sloppy friend with bad grammar.

There we were on Melrose, taking in the sights. Actually, we crossed over to another boulevard with more interesting looking people, but I can't remember the name. Anyway, there we were. Of course, I was celebrity stalking, you know the deal, hmmmm, is this one a celebrity? Is this one? That kind of thing.

The girls wanted to buy earrings, so I let them shop. Then I saw tai chi man outside of a store and I knew I must snap his picture. The guy was amazing energy on crack. Had a yoga mat and was doing amazing hand stands over and over. You see a lot of that at Venice Beach, but not really on Melrose.

And then, I just kind of hung out, soaking in the energy, scouring faces for some familiarity. The celebrity stalking gods were kind to me. I saw him from a distance on the telephone. Well, at least he wanted people to think he was on the telephone. I would not be deterred. Yes, I knew him from somewhere, but could not figure out where. He wanted to know if I was FBI. I told him yes. He said he was with his family. I said I didn't care. Director, producer, I knew he was a behind the scenes guy. Just could not put my finger on it.

I guess unless they are uber famous, these people aren't used to nobodys from Baltimore coming up to them on the street asking for pictures because once I started telling him how I knew he was a director/producer, just couldn't put my finger on it, Brett Ratner became THE coolest guy ever.

He asked me if I wanted to be in the picture with him, just to prove that I really am the one who took the picture, but I told him, nah, I'm not into that status whore kind of thing. More about this when I have more time to write.

Besides, why mess up a really good picture of Brett Ratner, eh?

CNN Sinks to Toilet Humor for News

Did CNN just run a story about the space station toilet being on the fritz? With guest commentary? And illustrative video? What is wrong with these people, talking about number one and number two on national television. What -- the Sarah Larson and George Clooney breakup not titillating enough for everyone? OMFG.

On Location Correspondent: I'm in the zero gravity chamber, looking at the space station toilet. I am in the toilet. Repeat. In the toilet.

CNN News Anchor (under her breath): So are we.

The state of national news has really deteriorated. Doing my part to spice things up, I'll be spending the day in beautiful downtown Pasadena, California, and then to Studio City for an According to Jim taping. Yes, we found a show that was actually still in production. And the weather? Absolutely fanfreakntabulous.

Cameron Diaz is Completely Bald

Good for Cameron Diaz, dare'n to go completely barren. Cameron adopted a gerblish alien look in the name of her craft. Her new movie, My Sister's Keeper, is currently filming in Santa Monica. Cameron plays the mom of a young girl with lukemia and most likely shaved her head to show solidarity.

Supposedly, Cameron's noggin is covered by a bald cap, but hon, you could have fooled me.

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Miley Cyrus New Picture Sleaze Screams Scandal

Sleazy photographs of the world's richest teenager are causing a universal rise in testosterone.

Miley Cyrus, aka the "Oops I Did It Again Girl," must think she's a Victoria's Secret model. This girl cannot keep her pants on. And those come hither eyes. Talk about kids trying to grow up too fast and parents not giving a damn.

Methinks Miss Hannah Montana has serious mouse issues, like she's taunting the network to can her sexy hide. Meanwhile, Disney executives will have to strategize more damage control, just in case a scandal like the one rocking U.K. Channel 4 rears its ugly head.

Personally, I think Miley needs to put her clothes back on and hire the best shrink money can buy. Other leaked photographs offer a not so pretty behind the scenes look at a scandal in waiting.

Here's a drawing Billy Ray supposedly made of Miley when she was just a tween, apparently practicing her now refined come hither look.

And here she stands apart from her siblings in a picture with Billy Ray practically screaming for attention. Hey, it's great to have your own TV show, fashion line, instant fan recognition, and money to burn, but a little TLC never hurt anyone.

Update: The Vanity Fair photos stoking the rumor mill are controversial but reflect artistic content. Cyrus appears to take pleasure in circulating sleazier photos with no socially redeeming content whatsoever.

Rhubarb cobbler (wheat free)

I was thinking about what I should cook for the blog and every time I came up with an idea for something I wanted to try, a nagging thought kept annoying me. My garden is full of this year's rhubarb and my freezer is full of last year's rhubarb. I should make at least one thing with this plant that I used to love, but am now indifferent to, so I went outside and gathered a bunch of red stalks. And besides, my son recently asked for a rhubarb recipe, so here comes a simple and homey cobbler. You might want to serve it with vegan ice cream to dress it up.

I was planning to roll a square of pastry and cut nine rectangles with my pastry cutter (for nifty zig-zag edges) and place them window-pane style across the top of the rhubarb. Or maybe cut out leaf shapes and arrange them artistically. Sigh. Of course I reached for my same old biscuit topping and slapped it on. Of course. So predictable.

Ironically, the recipe I always turn to for biscuit topping is from my junior high school foods and nutrition cookbook. I just can't believe I still have the cookbook, let alone use it. It was so long ago. I don't remember much about junior high home economics beyond the time in sewing class that I sewed through my finger at the sewing machine about five minutes after the teacher jokingly warned us not to do that. Or the inedible cake whose center sunk to the pan bottom. Oh wait, there was a pink place mat and two napkins that I embroidered with slices of blueberry pie (little knots for the blueberries!) and cups of steaming coffee. Other than that—a wasteland.

Anyway, I decided to use the basic recipe proportions while changing the actual ingredients. I've been relying on wheat so much lately that I though it would be more interesting to change the flour. I used to use make cookies, cakes and breads with barley, spelt and rice flours, and it occurred to me that I've become too narrow and should probably eat a greater variety of foods. However, if you prefer using wheat flour, the quantity is 1 cup whole wheat pastry flour or unbleached white flour instead of the barley and spelt. (Using spelt requires more flour than wheat.)

Rhubarb cobbler
• 4 heaping cups rhubarb, cut into 1" pieces
• 1/2 to 1 cup sucanot*
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 Tablespoon arrowroot

biscuit topping
• 1/2 cup barley flour
• 3/4 cup spelt flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon sucanot
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 cup soymilk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Put the rhubarb in a large bowl and toss with the arrowroot until coated. Add the sucanot and cinnamon and mix. (*Different varieties of rhubarb vary in their sweetness, with some incredibly sour and some more mild. And different folks have different sweetness requirements. I like things a bit on the tart side so 1/2 cup of sucanot works for me. Maybe you need more to make your tongue smile.) As the rhubarb sits, the sugar will start to melt, so give it a mix every so often as you make the topping.

Sift into a bowl (or whisk or just mix well) the barley flour, spelt flour, baking soda, salt and sucanot. Add the oil and mix with a fork until it looks like crumbs. Add the vanilla to the milk then add the milk all at once to the dry ingredients. Mix lightly together until combined.

Oil a 9" x 9" square baking dish and fill with the rhubarb mixture, making sure to scrape out and add all of the sugar. Spread the biscuit mixture on the top. You can drop it from a spoon as individual biscuits or spread as one piece. Bake in a preheated 375˚ oven for 35 minutes. Cool.

Icanhascheezburger Teh Special Sauce Lolz

Have to admit, when I first saw so many Facebook friends joining the "icanhascheezburger" fan club, I was a smidge envious. Who was this ican person and how had he/she become so darn popular? I'd been plugging away dutifully for months and The Spewker was still a blip on nobody's radar. Was there something about "cheezburgers" making people go bonkers?

Finally took the plunge and have to admit, the place is a riot. Should have checked it out way sooner and jumped on the bandwagon, but you know, celebrity politics being a full-time job and all, lolz.


see more politics and fun!

Clinton Campaign Jumps the Shark and Should Leave the Building

Does anyone still want Hillary Clinton for V.P. after this bombshell?

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm still a big believer in Freudian slips. And with the Clinton track record and her Sopranos knock-off commercial, I can't regard her remarks as mere silliness. Call me a crazy conspiracy theorist if you like, but there's no room in civil political discourse for a response like this. The reporter asked, "Why [have people tried to push you out of the race since Iowa]?" Rather than consider something plausible, Clinton faulted the media, saying historically it made no sense to push a candidate out before June and then cited the RFK assassination as justification.

Even in the best light, the explanation is irresponsible and, forgive me Clinton supporters, incredibly idiotic. I don't know about everyone else, but I can't stomach the thought of a presidency with Dana Quail, Jr. second in command...

...or the Ralph Nader of 2008.

I have already highlighted numerous other missteps of Senator Clinton's campaign, but none so egregious, so over the top, so incredibly divisive as her most recent gaffe. Please, everyone, for the sake of the Party, join together. Put an end to the candidacy of a politician whose actions serve only to tear us apart. Urge party leaders to dance Hillary off the stage, quickly, quietly, but forcibly, while she still retains a portion of her dignity.

It's over, folks, it's over. She fought the good fight, but she's done.

Spa Shock

My 86 year old father-in-law is spending the Memorial Day weekend with us. We wanted to loosen up our ole muscles and decided to relax in the spa. He's got a great sense of humor and the expressions showing his adjustment to the water temperature were quite funny.

Photos taken with K20D and a pre-production 17-70mm lens. Images shot in RAW and converted to BW JPEG in-camera. Images were cropped into vertical format for posting here. I've been shooting with two different copies of the 17-70mm lens for the past month. I'll be posting a pretty wide range of sample images from this lens in the next few weeks.

vegan sausage

Almost two months ago I wrote a post about home-made vegan sausage, but I never posted it. That was probably at least a month after vegan sausage recipes started appearing all over the Internet. I was a little behind because one, it looked like too much trouble, and two, I didn't think it would taste good. It turns out I was wrong on both counts and we've made lots of seitan sausage in the last couple of months. This seems like the perfect time to finally post this as it's Memorial Day weekend and "The World's Largest Brat Fest" is happening in the city where we live. ("The World's Largest Vegan Brat Fest," held in the parking lot of Whole Foods, was yesterday.) For the record, the Brat Fest also serves vegetarian brats, and last year there was a controversy over whether or not the veggie brats should be considered in the total number of brats consumed! Click here for stats.
My final version of the sausage, and the one I like best, appears at the very bottom of the post. You can eat it just as it is, but it's at its best sliced and sauteed in a little olive oil. It's really good.

Here's the post:

I'm not fond of overly-processed fake meats and cheeses. They are usually too high in salt and fat, they taste bad and they often try to simulate foods I didn't care to eat when I wasn't vegetarian, like lunch meats, hot dogs, sausage and such. Sheesh, I live in Wisconsin, land of brat-eating cheese heads, (no offense intended) and I've never tasted an actual brat. Before I moved here, I'd never even heard of them. The first one I tried was at an alternative Brat Fest (alternative to "The World's Largest Brat Fest" held here on Memorial Day) put on by Alliance for Animals. (If there are any meat-eating Wisconsinites out there reading this, you're probably shaking your heads in disgust!) The brand was Tofurky. I liked it well enough and they've come in handy at barbecues , but I don't crave them. I like seitan but I don't try to make it taste like meat. My husband sometimes buys lunch "meats" but I rarely eat them. He buys orange slices of "cheese" but they taste worse than American cheese, and I never ate that. It would be arrogant for me to say I didn't like any kind of animal food before becoming vegetarian. For example, I liked short ribs on the barbecue and roasted chicken, and scrambled eggs. And cheese on pizza. Now it all seems so gross. I don't want them anymore. When I think of burgers, I don't think of ground meat - I think of a food shape. I don't want burgers to look or taste like beef. It's not the taste of these things I miss - I think it's TEXTURE. Sometimes you just want to chew something - really sink your teeth in. Yeah. Or wrap your mouth around a gooey stretchy bite of pizza.

One time I was baking a lot of tofu slices to take on a camping trip and in the effort of packing -three kids, dog, husband...- I forgot all about the tofu, and it baked all day. It was supposed to travel in the cooler and be road snacks for a few days. Now it was road kill. I was freaked. It had a texture somewhere between jerky and crackers - and it was great! I was transported back to a childhood of gnawing on the turkey wings of Thanksgivings past. It was texture. Tofu with texture and chew - with good taste as a bonus.

And there's pizza. I've put tofu on it. I've put weird fake cheese on it. I've put no cheese on it. I've put homemade "cheez" sauces on it. With a good crust, sauce and toppings, pizza can be great without cheese. But there's the mouth-feel memory of that stringy melted mozzarella buried somewhere in my brain, and every so often it surfaces. When I first considered becoming vegan, it was visions of pizza that passed before my eyes. I sometimes use small amounts of Follow Your Heart mozzarella on pizza and the melted texture is gratifying. I've even started almost liking the taste. (I've been reading about a new cheese coming from the Chicago soy dairy that's supposed to be even better.)

So where is this heading? Am I going to start eating more meat-like foods? No. I'm content to eat my veggies, fruits, nuts, grains and beans. But sometimes it's fun to create foods with textures (and tastes) that mimic old familiar foods. Sometimes it's fun to eat non-dairy ice cream. Yeah. It's always fun to do that.

Anyway, I've been reading other blogs and finding all these "sausage" recipes. First I made sausage crumbles with soy protein and put some on a pizza and some into chili. (I didn't like it on the pizza but it was good in the chili!) Then I found Julia Hasson's vegan sausage on Everyday dish and I was intrigued. I found a simpler version called seitan sausage on the ppk, and being lazy, I tried that one, changing it only slightly. The only steamer I have is a bamboo steamer, so I used that to steam the seitan. It fit perfectly on top of my 3-1/2 court enameled cast iron pan. They turned out perfectly with a pleasing texture and taste. I've never steamed seitan before, and this has opened up all sorts of new possibilities.

I've been using vital wheat gluten for years to make a stuffed Thanksgiving roast. I've never had a recipe - just mixed it with water and seasoned it with herbs, spices, dry mustard, onion, garlic and tamari and rolled it out (this is not easy as it's very stretchy — an understatement!), fit it into a pan with the seitan extending over one side, filled the pan with rice-bread stuffing, stretched and tucked the side flap over the top and baked until puffed and golden. Now I'm finding all sorts of recipes out there for steamed seitan and I'm excited to start trying them. It was so easy. I doubled Isa's recipe and ended up with nine of these "sausages." They've been disappearing left and right and I finally photographed the last ones because I was afraid they would all be gone before I had a chance. I like this seitan much better than the stuff from the store. It's not so salty and the taste is mild. The texture is great, and you can use it wherever you use seitan, not just as a sausage thing. You can also form it into different shapes before steaming.

Seitan sausage #1
Makes 4 big sausages
1/2 cup pinto beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup vegetable broth (cool, not hot)
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 cloves garlic, very finely minced
1 1/4 cups vital wheat gluten
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 1/2 teaspoons fennel seed, crushed (optional-I detest fennel.)
1 teaspoon Chinese red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika (or sweet)
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon fresh black pepper

Mash the pintos in a large bowl. My potato masher seems to be gone so I used the bottom of a glass. Mix in all the rest of the ingredients in the order listed and mix with a fork. Form into sausage shapes and roll each sausage up in a piece of aluminum foil, twisting the ends. Steam the rolls for 40 minutes.

Try sautéing slices in a little olive oil until they brown a bit. I guarantee you'll be impressed. Smells good, too.

p.s. Okay. So I bought a potato masher and decided to make these again. (Actually, this is the third time, if you count my husband making them so I could test the recipe and see if it really was as easy as it seemed.) The first time I made this, I pretty much followed the recipe, but it's in my nature to muck around with recipes and change them. I mean, open a whole can of beans and only use 1/2 cup? Why not have a higher percentage of beans to flour. Maybe try a different kind of bean. The recipe below is slightly different from the one above, but the result is similar — perhaps a little more smooth and juicy.

I went to the cupboard for red kidney beans because I like the taste and I thought it would look good to have little flecks of dark red. There were no red kidney beans, so I used cannellini beans. (white kidney beans). I think I actually like the rich taste of cannellini beans better than red kidneys, so it was a good substitution. I didn't have vegetable broth on hand so I used water and added tomato paste for flavor. I also added liquid smoke. I was very happy with the result and the ingredients are listed below. The directions are the same as above except mix the tomato paste and chipotlé (if used) into the mashed beans before adding the rest of the ingredients.

seitan sausage #2 (very spicy)
1- 15 ounce can cannellini beans (or chick peas), rinsed, drained and mashed
1 heaping tablespoon tomato paste
1 cup water (cool, not hot)
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
4 medium cloves garlic, very finely minced
1 1/2 cups vital wheat gluten
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
2 teaspoons Chinese red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika (or sweet paprika)
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon fresh black pepper (coarse ground)
1/2 to 1 teaspoon liquid smoke
1 chipotlé in adobo, mashed up (optional but really good)
Here's what I did for lunch with the finished sausage. I sautéed thinly sliced yellow potatoes and thinly sliced onion in a little olive oil. When the vegetables were tender, I added sliced seitan and cooked until lightly browned. Fresh pepper was ground over the top.

American Idol Finale Season Seven Picks and Pans

I am just not feeling this outfit, dawg. Red is so not Randy's color. And what's the deal with the painters overalls? Covering up from martini spills?

Just a joke, peoples. Yeesh. But that IS Randy's outfit. I used an old Captain Kangaroo pix for illustration.

The American Idol season seven finale was a blast. Actually enjoyed the mainstream acts. Donna Summer came out singing amazingly, though she did look a little worn and tired. ZZ Top was the fershizzle. Seal rocked. Disagree that Bryan Adams looks too old. Man, what do people expect after twenty years?

Not liking the George Michael gig at the end after buzz reached a fever pitch about some REALLY big star closing the program. Then again, I guess Sir Paul had other plans.

The newer acts had their shine. One Republic sounded good, but not exactly studio. The 13-year old thought Archuleta sounded better, but what does she know? I tried to explain live never sounds as good as the recording unless they're lip syncing. Gotta appreciate those that dare to go live.

So glad Cook ended the show with top honors. Much as I like Archuleta, Cook deserved to be crowned. Such a humble and nice guy, too. Loved when he brought the other Idol finalists out for his swan song. I only hope he keeps his humility.

Finally, props to my girl, Charlotte. Oh yes, that was her on the finale stage. Once again, singing back up for Jordin Sparks. When last season's tour stopped in Baltimore, I made a point to fawn over Charlotte. Unlike last year's finalists, she had no problem signing autographs for fans. As nice as nice could be. It's time that girl took her career to the next level.

Positively Free Sex and the City Tour

The May 30th New York City premiere of Sex and the City: The Movie has inspired a fever pitch of hype and scramble for affiliation with all things Sarah Jessica Parker. New York City and local entrepreneurs are preparing to cash in.

Soon, a multitude of the fabulous and metrosexual will converge upon Manhattan, gobbling up SATC souvenirs, fighting for glimpses of stars on the red carpet, and spending outrageous sums of money for Sex and the City theme tours. While some tours are a perfectly reasonable way to enjoy the Big Apple, others are sold out, and still others are so obnoxiously expensive they should be banned for excessive opulence.

Truthfully, I'm a little appalled. Spending that much money for a friggn' city tour, are these people nuts? I like the SATC franchise just as much as anyone else, but you don't see me dropping huge wads of cash for something I can do on my own for nothing.

In fact, I'm so adverse to seeing so much money go down the drain, I decided to create an online tour of my own. No, it doesn't include injections of botox or boutique shopping jaunts, but it does give a fairly accurate picture of the SATC "hot spots." Even better, it's positively 100% FREE! I say, save your money for better things.

Like making a donation to my PayPal account.

Or buying your next gallon of gas.

Charlotte gets a free pair of shoes in exchange for a naughty massage.

Samantha impersonates a member of a pool club to cool off on a hot day. There's the pool roof off in the distance.

The ladies pay a visit to The Pleasure Chest where Charlotte purchases a little toy she names "Rabbit."

Remember the episode where Carrie and Samantha start ogling a priest? There's the church where the scenes were filmed. I hear the producers had to offer a hefty donation for the location.

I find it hard to believe the red door with graffiti filled walls is tour worthy, but here's the scene where Samantha exits her apartment building. Funny how the place barely resembles the red door from the series.

The official Sex and the City cosmopolitan is a staple of all the tours. These are being served in a pub, not the restaurant where this scene was shot.

It wouldn't be a "Sex and The City" tour unless you stopped at Magnolia Bakery for cupcakes. Here, the line snakes around the door about 80 people long. In a scene from the series, Carrie tells Miranda about her Aidan crush as they lick cupcakes on an outside bench.

Another popular tour destination is the steps outside Carrie Bradshaw's brownstone. Everyone stops to have pictures taken. The brownstone is actually located in the Village, not the Lower East Side as portrayed in the series.

"Your girl is beautiful, Hubbell," Carrie says to Big, a nod to "The Way We Were." The scene was filmed at the fountain across from The Plaza Hotel, a fitting way to end this tour on a high note.


Just in case you wanted to see some actual people on one of these tours, I'll leave you with the foreign film version. Au revoir, ladies.

Flash Mob Entertainment Goes Global

A flash mob recently convened in Baltimore's Inner Harbor, sparking local interest in the recently popular phenomenon.

I'm more amused by flash mob entertainment from other parts of the world. No need to translate. The humor speaks for itself.

2008 Prediction from an American Idol Dropout

I'm lapping up the blogosphere buzz about last night's American Idol season finale. The Battle of the Davids, as far as I'm concerned, or as Randy so eloquently stated, "The Duel of 2007."

As I've mentioned here before, this season of Idol left me less than enthralled. I stopped tuning in right about the time they narrowed the competition to the final fourteen. Maybe the acts seemed too polished, too commercial, too pat. Only the lunacy of Paula kept me barely engaged.

For what it's worth, my barely turned teenage daughter is mad about David Archuleta. So are all of her friends. He's cute, I'll admit, and he sings like a nightingale, but that's not enough to keep this old 60's rocker entertained. My daughter may have registered a vote or two, but after the judges' gushing comments, her compatriots may have felt safe to let other voters crown tonight's winner. If so, I'm wondering how many other teenyboppers were lured into a smug state of apathy.

From the little I've seen, David Cook's got it down. He's an obscurity who tried out on a whim, one who is brave enough to take chances. He's edgy and dark. Even if he doesn't emerge as this season's winner, he has a bright future ahead. Cook's albums will sell, especially if he maintains the passion of his current convictions. That, and retains the right manager. Enough said about unsavory characters who bilk the unsuspecting.

People like me don't want more of the same. They want music from artists who walk to the beat of their own drum. I didn't bother to vote my opinion as I had in previous seasons. I'd rather vote with my pocketbook when the Davids' debut CDs hit the market.

Whatever happens tonight, David Cook is the real deal. The question on my lips is the fate of the show itself. Can they interest people like me with raw fresh talent? That, my friends, can't be scripted on a note card.

Gary Kasparov Interrupted by Flying Penis

American political candidates aren't the only ones enduring the slings and arrows of opposition. The hilarious effects of glasnost and perestroika were on display as Gary Kasparov, retired chess champion and political activist, interrupted a weekend rally to observe the flight of a wayward wang.

Don't have a cow. The offending operative wasn't real, just hysterically funny.

I'm still trying to figure out Second Life. According to a more astute observer the incident mimicked a similar attack in the alternate reality. According to a report from Belfast,

The prank was staged by 'a couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists' reports the Moscow Times. Mr Kasparov was unharmed.

Kasparov laughed off the incident remarking that it was 'below the belt.'

'I think we have to be thankful for the opposition's demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate,' he said.

An onlooker said the incident was a 'genital reminder about who is in charge.'

Bah-dah-bum.

The flying wang was an immediate crowd pleaser. News correspondents mass recorded the attack and someone quickly downloaded it for prosperity. A dark haired diminutive correspondent ran out of the room so fast, I couldn't tell if he/she was trying to claim first dibs or satisfy a sudden personal urge.

The wang could have been more than just a prank, possibly carrying a recording device of its own. That would explain the actions of a way too serious security guard who quickly disabled the otherwise harmless intruder. Did you see that guy's face? Scary.

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The Celebrity Apprentice Rumored to Hire Heather Mills

Looking like he just swallowed a rotten egg, Donald Trump squelched rumors about O.J. Simpson and The Celebrity Apprentice. He then let a giant cat out of the bag. Sir Paul McCartney's evil ex, Heather Mills, is in talks to join the show.



WTG, Donald! When it comes to villains, Heather is about as evil as it gets.

Stuart and This Gay Dude are Going to be Newlyweds

After twenty plus years, Stuart and his domestic partner are getting married. In a narrow 4-3 ruling, the California Supreme Court abolished the ban on gay marriage, setting off squeals of delight in the City of San Francisco. Moral watchdogs have vowed to delay the ruling's effect until voters can have their say at the polls.

Figures. Just when you think wedded bliss is only nano meters away, they pull the rug out from under you.

Right... Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi?

Right... George Takei and Brad Altman?

Right... Jude Law and Jeremy Giley?

Oh, wait a minute. Jude and Jeremy only look like they're getting married. In real life, they're promoting their new political documentary, The Day After Peace, at the Cannes Film Festival.

My bad.