Madonna's Charity Work

“It has pretty much, taken over my life, and I’m so grateful it has…I’ve started an organization called Raising Malawi…and any of your help would be greatly appreciated by me.” – Madonna

Madonna's Charity Work.

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Why All the 'Oscar' Fuss?

Why any human being would sit at home on a Sunday night and watch a bunch of zillionaire Hollywood actors and actresses pat themselves and one another on the back is beyond me. But there they were last night, parading before the cameras on 'Oscar' night at the annual Academy Awards.

I mean, I do get it for the actors and actresses themselves, of course. Almost every industry takes time out during the year to recognize and honor those in each profession or business who excelled during the previous year. Dinners are shared, toasts are made, speeches are given, trophies and plaques are handed out.

But while the nation's leading architects, novelists, construction workers, police officers, firefighters, bankers, small business persons, mass transit employees, entrepreneurs, secretaries, priests, and many others receive their honors in near-anonymity surrounded by family, friends, and colleagues their exploits are almost never celebrated in front of a television audience.

Why would any office worker, home maker, student, or businessperson care who took home what trophy for some movie that the vast majority of them have never seen and likely will never see? Why should I care what kind of dress Sandra Bullock or Meryl Streep wears as they walk down some red carpet and into a theatre to receive their awards?

Frankly, I don't. Which is why I never watch a minute of the Academy Awards, the Emmy's, the MTV Music Awards, the Grammy's, the Espy's or any other awards show. The fact of the matter is that James Cameron, Kathryn Bigelow, George Clooney, Jay-Z, Koby Bryant, Fergie, Ray Romano, Jay Leno and every other celebrity could care less about me beyond whether or not I spend my hard-earned money on one of their products or artistic endeavors. They wouldn't watch a police awards show if their lives depended on it.

This all falls in line with my similar thoughts on television shows such as 'TMZ' and 'Entertainment Tonight' and 'Extra' as well. Why should any normal, regular, hard-working, family-raising American give a damn about what is happening between Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston? Why do you care how many African babies Madonna is adopting this year? Why should you be giving up your valuable time to watch a bunch of paparazzi stand around and bust on some borderline star who took their baby for a walk in the park today while wearing giant sunglasses and an unflattering sweat suit?

You shouldn't, and that is the point. Now I can just hear the celebrity addicts who do watch these shows whining now. "Who are you to tell someone else what they should like or enjoy, Veasey?" Legitimate question for sure. And of course the answer is, I am no one. So why are you reading this in the first place? Why do you care what I think about anything?

My advice is simple. Stop watching these pieces of trash, junk television shows. Stop caring about Halle Berry and Sarah Jessica Parker and Tiger Woods personal lives. You want to spend your money to enjoy their music, their movies, their sporting contests? That's a whole other story, and a valid method of entertainment and enjoyment. But caring about what dress they wear or who they are sleeping with this week? I don't and never will get it. Why all the fuss?

Prince William Unrecognizable, Powell's Endorsement Undeniable, Lohan's Tan Unreliable and Mo' Gossip

It was a night of douchebag debauchery for the future King of England. Not on William Wales' end, mind you, but the idiot bodyguards who supposedly kept him from fraternizing with Queen Xtina. At some point, His Highness was recognized and given court before setting out with Prince Harry on a week long South African motorbike race for charity. I don't know who snapped this romantic memento of the Prince's glitterati rendezvous sans hubby Jordan Bratman, but that's the most photogenic Christine Aguilera has looked in months.

Actor Alan Cumming recalls washing away his disappointment over 2004 election night result with handstands and trannies. Today, he fears possible revolution in the event of a similar outcome this November.

Respected GOP stalwart Colin Powell finally announced his endorsement for president and it's .... Democrat Barack Obama. Surprise! Meanwhile, the McCain Campaign somehow persuaded CNN to scrub its report of the Palin family's involvement in the Alaskan Independence Party. Media censorship knows no boundaries.

Like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," claimed Guy Ritchie in describing love-making with soon to be ex-wife Madonna. Ritchie blamed the material girl's obsession with exercise and Kabbalah for sex life interruptus, some draughts lasting as long as 18 months.

Foo Fighters front man David Grohl too chicken to dedicate song Everlong to Sarah Palin? That's the rumor being floated after the band protested the McCain Campaign's use of song My Hero. Grohl appeared at a private video gamer event where he almost segued from a Palin reference to a dedication, then quickly substituted "... the Republicans" as recipients of his affection.

Fake tan malfunction alert. Calling all hosers. Can't explain why this non-news item made today's cut. Must be the lure of Lindsay Lohan's naked two-toned legs, although from the looks of strategically placed stocking holes, the cover-up doesn't seem nearly as garish.

Echoing Alec Baldwin's empty threat to leave the U.S. in the event of a George Bush presidency, Tina Fey claims she'll leave the planet if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the election. Exactly how the 30 Rock star plans to handle the unthinkable is between her and doppelganger Palin.

Mark Wahlberg says shopped, George Michael is dropped, Robyn gets popped, and Other Celebolitics

Once again, proudly providing a cacophony of celebolitics, the weekend roundup is back.

Andy Samberg's best Dr. Doolittle impersonation has Mark Wahlberg's fur in a huff. On the bright side, Barky Bark probably won't have to turn down any more SNL guest host invitations.

Is Britney Spears channeling Sarah Palin as dominatrix? You be the judge.

Proving bare naked breasts are indeed beautiful, lip engorged Brangelina debuts Angie's nursing photos in the November issue of W.

Who exactly is Swedish pop singer Robyn? Whoever made this ding-dong think she could dis Madonna and live to tell about it needs an immediate refresher course in Peon 101.

For a saucy old broad, Cloris Leachman sure gets around. First sashaying her way to super stardom on DWTS, now recently named Grand Marshall for the 2009 Rose Bowl Parade. Is there anything outside this grand old dame's comfort zone?

The Brit Awards has reportedly dropped embattled pop star George Michael from its short list of lifetime achievement award contenders after his recent drug bust for cocaine and marijuana possession. I suppose all those lurid bathroom stall encounters didn't matter.

The McCain campaign must be going down in flames. Couldn't have been more than two weeks ago this late night talk show host sliced and diced the good Gentleman from Arizona.

Singer Leona Lewis just said no to animal product promotion. PETA's World's Sexiest Vegetarian refused a cool one million pounds to open a sale at Harrods, claiming the sale of such goods constitutes animal cruelty.

Disney's Bambi has been named top tear-jerker of all time and credited with turning Sir Paul McCartney into a lifelong vegetarian. Becoming somewhat outspoken in his old age, the cute Beatle recently launched a McDonald's boycott and issued a new album with lyrics trashing ex-wife Heather Mills.

R.I.P. Eileen Herlie. There was a time when my world revolved around the Fargates and that hussy Erica Kane.

Madonna's an Old Fart, Sheridan Bolton have No Heart, and HBO Series 'Entourage' Gets Off to a Great Start

Between last week and this week, life went horribly awry. Both the dryer and the upstairs toilet broke, leaving a small army's worth of smelly towels and rugs. Got a sunburn to die for while recuperating from a face first dive beneath the sea. Slam went the boogie board as my nose followed bloodied and bruised. Oh, and there's no justice in America. Try sitting in a courtroom all day pleading for mercy only to have the stinking judge throw the book and kitchen sink at one very misguided relative. Despite my best intentions to make this a daily, once again, it's the weekly Wrap of Crap.



Sticky and sweet may have deeper significance for popfart Madonna. Explicitly lewd love letters and photographs expressing her penchant for spanking may be part of a February exhibition entitled "Simply Madonna: Materials of the Girl." From the same slut who brought us the offensively raunchy coffee table book SEX, comes the threat of legal action if former lover Jame Albright puts her oh so private materials on display.

Oh hooray. Speaking of Madonna, we can all stop worrying about her very public feud with Sir Elton John. It's over. The Goodbye Yellow Brick Road crooner was spotted along with musician Bono enthusiastically clapping at her Sticky and Sweet performance in Nice, France.

It's deja vu all over again. Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton have once again called it quits. The couple dated for five years before ending their relationship in 1997, then became engaged in March, 2006. Seems to me like a revolving door of domestic tranquility with someone balking at walking down the aisle.

Los Angeles based 220 Laboratories is suing actress Kate Hudson for revealing its secret hair care ingredient to competitor David Babaii. Hudson allegedly made a verbal agreement to promote the company's line of products before letting the cat out of the bag. A representative for Hudson denies all accusations.

By now, everyone knows about the trials and tribulations of "Valkyrie," the expected Christmas Day turkey. Twelve extras are suing Tom Cruise and his production company United Artists for $11 million, alleging negligence and personal injury. The cast members suffered broken bones, cuts, pulled ligaments and bruises when the side panel of an antique German army truck flew open. Plaintiffs' lawyer claims the truck had not been properly secured. Might explain why Cruise and former business partner Paula Wagner recently parted ways.

He knows they're out there. That's probably why The X-Files and Californication star David Duchovny entered a rehab facility for treatment of a sex addiction. Never mind whatever threats of divorce may or may not have been made by fellow actor and wife, Tea Leoni. Both parties have pleaded for privacy during this extremely painful time for their family.

Fans who attended Neil Diamond's Ohio State University concert on Monday, August 25th may request a refund from now until September 5th. The "Sweet Caroline" singer suffered acute laryngitis, making his voice sound raspy during the performance.

The Broadway production of Grease will get another infusion of American Idol lubricant. Season 5 performer Ace Young will play Kenickie from September 9th through January 18th, joining the cast just as Season 5 winner Taylor Hicks exits his role as teen angel.

Illegal downloads will land you in jail. Honestly, they're not worth it. At the very least, don't be like this poor sap. If you ever need a deterrent, look at the FBI turning the life of 27-year old Kevin Cogill upside down. The blogger, who is suspected of streaming songs from the unreleased Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy, must pay a $10,000 fine and appear for a September 17th preliminary hearing to answer charges of felony copyright infringement.

Attention all tweeny boppers and the parents who lavish them with love and affection. Verizon Wireless and Samsung are running a contest with the top prize of a Bahamas vacation with The Jonas Brothers. For details, visit the official site.

The HBO hit series Entourage will team up in a big way with Virgin America. From now until the end of September, flights from New York to Las Vegas will be renamed "Entourage Air." Lucky fans on the September 4th flight will receive free swag and get to watch the premiere. The airline will also rename their first class seating "Entourage Class."

Keely Bares Icky, Madonna Tour Sticky, and Phelps Gets Wicky

Pierce Brosnan's wife, Keely Shaye Smith, gets tongues wagging by going boogie boarding in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny very mismatched blue bikini.

Director Christopher Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman in his next Batman movie may already come with a lifetime supply of whips and masks. Rumor has it that Cher is in negotiations to join the tentatively titled "Caped Crusader" film which begins shooting in Vancouver early next year.

France's new First Lady may be with child. Speculation is running rampant after paparazzi photographed President Nicolas Sarkozy affectionately patting Carla Bruni's rounded tummy during a seaside vacation.

Celebrate the Sweet 16 of Miley Cyrus at Disneyland this October. Be the first of 5,000 outrageously ga-ga fans to splurge $250 a ticket, and you too can party like a teenage rock star. Tickets go on sale August 30th at 9 a.m.

Sticky and sweet doesn't do justice to these photographs from Madonna's new world tour. The 50-year old pop sensation still has the moves of a woman half her age. Go Madge!

Could Jennifer Love Hewitt be getting cold feet? After shedding 18 pounds, the Ghost Whisperer star postponed her wedding to Sottish fiance Ross McCall, claiming different shooting schedules caused a strain on their relationship.

A hospital reportedly run by Celebrity Rehab star Dr. Drew Pinsky is under investigation. Within the past five months, three patients have died under mysterious conditions at the Pasadena facility.

To kick off Rock The Vote's voter registration drive, singer Sheryl Crow will give away digital copies of her new album Detours to the first 50,000 people who register three friends to vote. People who log on to the Rock the Vote website or join the group mailing list can also get a free download of her new song, Gasoline.

Before the Olympics wrapped, there was Olympic freestyle. Or maybe it was doggie style. No joke. Read all the sordid details direct from an Olympic insider.

Sure, everyone wanted to see photographs of Fred Phelps, estranged father of Olympic superstar Michael Phelps. But now comes word that Michael bought a multi-million dollar Baltimore condominium, snagged a book deal, AND is snogging fellow Olympian, the "racy Aussie dolphin" Stephanie Rice. Bet Fred must be kicking himself about now.

Ellen DeGeneres to Wed, Jackson Browne Seeing Red, and Lindsay Sharing Bed

You clamoured for mundane celebrity gossip and we're going to give it to you. Another edition of The Weekly Wrap of Crap.

McCain and the RNC finally went too far. Musician Jackson Browne is the latest aggrieved celebrity with a beef against the Senator from Arizona. Browne joins an ever expanding list of celebrities with copyright infringement claims against McCain and the Republican Party, including Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Paris Hilton, ABBA, and John Mellencamp. Ohio RNC chairman Robert Bennett pulled the ad after Browne filed suit in L.A. U.S. District Court.

Contrary to persistent rumors, Madonna is not adopting another child. Or maybe she is. We're so confused. Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg has been known to issue misleading news in the past.

Ben Stiller continues to battle backlash against his latest film Tropic Thunder. But not for the reasons most people suspect. Apparently, Stiller is an equal opportunity offender, placing Caucasian actor Robert Downey, Jr. in black face, and repeatedly using the "r" word to refer to developmentally challenged children.

BET debuts a cross between Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher with a black perspective this Friday at 11 p.m. Entertainment news program The Truth With Jeff Johnson is the latest entry in the political entertainment genre.

It's wedding bells for DeGeneres and de Rossi. Popular talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and fiance Portia de Rossi plan to wed in a same-sex ceremony this weekend.

Get a chance to see what life looks like through the eyes of a famous celebrity. A-list stars donated their eyeglasses for an eBay charity auction benefiting Sightsavers International. Bidding ends on August 24th. Money from the auction will fund the work of the international blindness charity in 33 countries across Africa, Asia and the Caribbean to prevent and cure blindness and support people who are permanently blind or visually impaired. Former spectacle owners include Sir Michael Caine, designer Bruce Oldfield, George Michael, and Ewan McGregor.

Elizabeth Edwards is reportedly anguished over husband John's admitted affair with a campaign aide. Edwards was "unprepared for the amount of disgust and how swiftly everything else he had done in his career would be wiped away, and ... really reeling from that and afraid what it will do to their legacy as a couple and what their children will inherit." Maybe Edwards should have considered the scum sucking fallout before hopping into bed with a flooze.

Check out the "Celebs to Watch Out For" list. Paparazzi, you've been warned.

It's official. Lindsay Lohan confirms sharing a bed with lover Samantha Ronson. Lohan hasn't been with a man since the two started dating. Reportedly Sam has a real calming effect on the former wild child and the two are inseparable. Any relationship helping Lindsay tone down her hard partying ways is a big plus in my eyes.

Weight loss stories sell magazines. Just ask actress Jennifer Love Hewitt. After admonishing the tabloids for shining the spotlight on her cellulite, she encouraged women to be proud of their own bodies whatever shape or size. Now the star of Ghost Whisperer announces dropping 18 pounds in 10 weeks. "I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up," Hewitt told US Magazine. Her trainer claims she didn't drop the weight to look good in a dress but failed to offer any other plausible motivation.

ARod: What More Could He Want?

Reports have surfaced in recent weeks of a marital split and pending divorce between New York Yankees superstar 3rd baseman Alex 'ARod' Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia (the couple pictured left in happier times.) Now big stars getting divorced has, unfortunately, become common place in today's American culture. But this one is proving to be a doozy. For years, ARod publicly tried to cultivate a family-man image, and even his personal trainer recently commented on Good Morning America as to that former mind-set for the baseball star. However, in the divorce papers being filed, Cynthia alleges numerous affairs by ARod over the years, and now claims that one most recent affair was "the last straw." That suspected affair was with none other than pop music mega-star Madonna, who at age 49 is sixteen years the senior of ARod (he turns 33 at the end of this month.) Cynthia claims to have found what is being described as "love notes" to the Material Girl from ARod, and there are also allegations that Madonna may have lured him with her faith in Kabbalah, the mystical branch of Judaism. There were initial rumors of an affair between Cynthia and singer Lenny Kravitz, but they appear to have blown over. Kravitz is apparently a longtime friend of the couple, and allowed her to stay at his place in Paris for awhile to get away from the pressures. ARod and Cynthia have been married for 5 1/2 years and have a pair of daughters, 3-year old Natasha and 3-month old Ella. Cynthia further claims in the divorce papers that ARod has "emotionally abandoned" her and the kids. All this makes you wonder what it takes to make someone happy. Alex Rodriguez is living the dream of almost every American male. He is a baseball superstar, playing for the highest profile team in the Yankees, as the highest-paid player in the game at roughly $28 million per season. He is married to an incredibly gorgeous woman, has two beautiful little girls (one a newborn), and never wants for anything material. Why people who have everything still want and need even more is beyond me. Madonna has vehemently denied any sexual relationship with ARod, but he was seen going to her Manhattan apartment a number of times, and it is fairly obvious that there is some type of relationship between the two. Madonna is prepping for a new world tour to begin soon, one in which Britney Spears is scheduled to be featured, so this publicity certainly won't hurt. But back to ARod: what more could the man possibly want in life? In a way, it's a microcosm for us all, everyone who has ever had a family, a career, a home, and yet was still searching for more and more. Not that he will ever know or care, but my advice to ARod is 'be happy'. You already have everything you need, more than most will ever have. Make amends, put it back together, and let yourself and your family be happy. This search for 'more' simply is not worth the price you are paying, and will continue to pay.

Celebrities Served 12.13.07

This is the first edition of a new feature here at The Spewker. A roundup of political and legal news culled from the world of entertainment:

1. The home of the “Voice of Los Angeles,” could be razed rather than preserved as a national landmark. The new owner claims Bukowski was a Nazi sympathizer. [utchmynitz]

2. Akon plead not guilty to criminal charges for tossing a young fan off a concert stage earlier this year. [pravda]

3. PETA is targeting Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, for killing animals to look attractive. [dumbasscelebrities]

4. Media mogul Conrad Black was sentenced to 6-1/2 years in prison for fraud and obstruction of justice. [canoe]

5. Gary Collins has been charged with driving under the influence, but somehow escaped prosecution for manslaughter after his accident victim died. [latimes]

6. Daniel Baldwin’s lawyer wants an arrest warrant dismissed, claiming his client's failure to appear for a scheduled hearing was an honest mistake. [celebnewsupdate]

7. Speaking of mistakes, everyone’s favorite screw-up skipped a scheduled court deposition in her pending child custody case. [babble]

8. Madonna is battling the board of her luxury apartment for blocking her purchase of a neighboring property. [timessquaregossip] Madge recently horrified animal activists by dying her sheep rainbow colors for a spread in Vogue. [thenews]

9. In more New York housing battles, following a dispute with her landlord, Bianca Jagger was evicted from her home. [showbizspy]

10. Looks like a home isn't a castle on either coast. Burglars hit the Hollywood Hills estate of Charlize Theron. [13wham]

11. Shia LaBeouf can breathe a sigh of relief. Walgreens dropped trespassing charges against the handsome Transformers and Disturbia star. [stuff]

12. Handsome rules the day in awards news. George Clooney and Don Cheadle received the 2007 Nobel Peace Summit Award today. [thenews] Clooney is planning a second profile raising trip to Darfur next month to increase awareness of human suffering. [moono] His documentary about the war torn region, A Journey to Darfur, will air this Monday on the AmericanLife TV Network. [usatoday]

13. Sopranos creator, David Chase, is back in federal court fighting copyright infringement claims. A former municipal court judge argued Chase ripped off the successful HBO series from his crash course about the New Jersey mob.[blogonaut]

14. In other claims, the Rev. Al Sharpton denounced an IRS investigation into his non-profit civil-rights organization, National Action Network, as a low-down smear campaign to discredit his forthcoming presidential candidate endorsement. [officialteflontvblog]

15. More smear. A racist slur cover-up from the 2004 manslaughter trial of ex-NBA star, Jayson Williams recently reared its ugly head. [nj]

16. When will the drunk driving stop? Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver singer, Scott Weiland, was arraigned on DUI today. [msn]

17. Adding more fuel to the fires of the Bush administration, the 58th annual Berlin International Film Festival will debut Errol Morris’ Iraqi prison scandal documentary, Standard Operating Procedure. The festival runs in early February, 2008. [loosetooth]

18. Trying to make light of the whole Iraqi prison controversy, Fox humor columnist, Greg Gutfeld, suggests waterboarding torture tactics should become the country’s national sport. [thinkprogress]